


Not All Lips Go Blue

by claralikesfood



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Where are their parents?, but everyone is happy and nobody dies, eren is a very stressed student deep down he just doesnt show it, levi is a lot more complex than he seems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/claralikesfood/pseuds/claralikesfood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren never expected to be here. Never, in his life, he had thought of a situation that would lead him into this. Sure he had had some strange experiences. For example, that one time he ended up wandering in a girl’s underwear shop for almost two hours, before noticing where he was (he even had chosen a pair of panties). This, however, was another level.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015
> 
> Hello guys ^^
> 
> This is my the first time ever writing a fic, so I hope to meet your expectations ^^  
> This work was beta'd by the lovely thingsishouldntbedoing *thank you*  
> I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
> 
> Enjoy your reading!  
> Also, opening drawers is not actually a good idea to do, so don't try this at a morgue. If you ever go to one.

**October**

The day had started as always, with me groaning at the alarm and successfully ignoring it, until it had started to be too irritating.

I pulled the covers off myself, not worrying to check the time, staring blankly at the wall for some time. By the time I arrived the kitchen, and Mikasa was pouring herself some cereal.

“You want some?”

“Sure.” I hadn’t been in the mood to eat anything anyway. Cereal was just as fine as any other thing. I was already running late, and I still needed to have a shower. I had just enough time to get one and run to classes.  I half slept through it, and absolutely did nothing to sort my hair out. My choice of clothes was, as usual, black jeans and the cleanest sweater I had found, resting on top of my chair. Maybe I should consider doing the laundry more often.

I had agreed with Armin to meet him at campus. It’s thanks to him that I’ve even managed to get into university. God bless his soul and his brains, for I would not have been able to get past high school if it wasn’t for those dreadful afternoons spent studying. In the end, I had barely managed to get into medicine, and that made dad happy, having his son following his footsteps (though he is never home for us to follow him around). After one year dwelling on subjects and squeezing every brain cell I had into getting to understand what I was learning, making an effort that paid off, I had come to a time where I could manage just fine with studies, as long as I don’t skip classes, though, sometimes, studying helps.

As predicted, I was indeed running late for classes. Armin had his phone on his hand, typing hurriedly, probably texting me. He spotted me and pocketed his phone away.

“You look half dead. It’s starting to become a tradition,” He stated.

“And yet, you look too bright for 8 o’clock,” Armin is one of those morning people. Those who offend you with a bright smile and a well-rested face.

“Maybe you shouldn’t stay up playing.”

“Shut up.” He had a point. I should probably go to bed earlier these days. Wisdom does not come with age for me.  In fact, Armin would probably argue that, in my case, it simply doesn’t come. But that’s why Armin’s there. He’s the wisdom, and I’m the spirit.

This particularly morning was boring. Boring is an understatement, in fact. I could hear the clock ticking, and yet, time wasn’t passing. Every time I looked at it, it showed the same time. Three times I had glanced the clock, and three times it had been a quarter past nine. And another. It shouldn’t surprise me since that clock is broken, but I still glanced at it, in hopes of time moving.

Honestly, I don’t remember grabbing the coffee that had been my second breakfast. I know I ended up with a stain on my sweater because some fucker didn’t have the time to go around the place where I was standing. I also don’t remember when the teacher said we were going to have an exam, but Jean insisted that he wasn’t lying about that part. I still don’t know how that prick ended up on most of my classes. I never thought he was intelligent, but here he was, sitting next to me. 

Eventually, morning ended and students were free for an hour.

I sat on a bench with Armin, waiting for Mikasa to join us. Once she was settled down, Armin and she began a conversation on whether sports were better than reading. Mikasa was on sports side of course, but Armin was progressively winning their discussion. He has the ability to turn everything to his side, once he puts his mind to it. Trust me, you don’t want to be on his black list.

“…with you, Eren?” I blinked at Mikasa. 

“Uh, sorry, what?”

“I asked you if everything’s fine. You spaced out for a long time.” I had been so bored all morning I didn’t seem to be able to concentrate in anything anymore.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just bored as hell.”

“Well, you’re going to have classes on the hospital part today, right?”

“It’s called practical classes, Mikasa.” Armin is always picky about designations.

“Well, I’m not a medicine student to know what it’s called.” She really doesn’t like feeling ignorant, and Armin sometimes can make you feel ignorant. It’s not his fault though. 

“It doesn’t matter. And yes, I’m having classes there today. Actually, I should get going, I’m not getting any younger here.” I said as I got up.

 

I wandered off to the hospital part of the campus. At least something interesting always happened on practical classes. One time we saw a guy that fell into a knife, and said knife was still on his, well, buttock. It was pretty funny. After we removed the knife, the guy remarked that was a shitty way to come out of the closet. I might have laughed a little too much at that. I was regarded with a wink, and my cheeks instantly reddened, betraying my not-so-straight person. Now that I think of it, I should probably have gotten his number.

Something was off because I couldn’t see any of my classmates, not even horse face, though I couldn’t say that wasn’t a blessing. Thus, I began looking. I looked on every damn ward and no sign of them… which brings us to now.

 

* * *

 

 

I was standing on the middle of the morgue, a place as lively as always, and the last one left to check on. It was highly improbable that they would be here, but I thought it was worth a try.

A cold shiver went through my spine, and I decided this was a good time to turn the lights on. Being here already, I might as well take the opportunity and check out what they do down here.

I chose a random drawer and read the file. I felt like a creep, reading through people’s life, well, death, but it was quite interesting. A full description of the body was done by the guys working here, including external and internal injuries. I opened the drawer. Ian Dietrich stared back at me behind glassy eyes. “Weird.” I observed the injuries stated on the report. Some of them were covered by clothes, but I didn’t want to touch the dead guy.

I put the file away and moved on to the next drawer.  This guy had been Thomas Wagner, still needing an autopsy. I opened the drawer. He had blond hair, and, unlike Ian, his eyes were closed. Did someone close them, or was it his last action, just before dying? I hoped it had been the first, that someone had cared enough to do that last kind act. He had been nineteen, almost my age, he wasn’t supposed to be dead yet. “I’m sorry, Thomas.” I told him. He was supposed to be studying, living, loving and just, existing. This world was unfair.

I closed his drawer feeling depressed. What was I doing here?

As I turned around I noticed an operating table on the middle of the room.  With a dead body lying on top of it. Possibly guts spilling all over the place. Images of gore horror movies came rushing through my head. Armin would have cringed at those.

Curiosity won over precaution, and my legs moved towards the table. “I am just going to look”, I thought.  “I’m not going to touch it. I am not risking profaning a body and getting cursed.” I was probably over reacting, perhaps convincing myself not touching it.

Why does time slow down when you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing?

He was a young man around my age. Too handsome to be dead already.

His thin eyebrows were smoothed out, like he had merely been resting from a stressful day of work. Unlike the others, he wasn’t wearing a hospital gown. He was wearing dark jeans and a white collared shirt was stretched out over his torso. It suited his petite figure well. His raven hair was parted and the locks fell gently to each side of his face. Thankfully, this one also had his eyes closed. I don’t think I could handle another dead person staring at me behind glassy eyes. The painful truth of someone so beautiful being dead hit me hard on my chest. Coming here was getting me depressed.

The fluorescent light was reflected off the table’s surface, making my eyes squint.

I could fathom his skin, pale and appealing. It made him look fragile, angelic. He looked surrounded by an aura of serenity.

My hands hitched to reach out, to disturb that serenity, to find out if it felt smooth and cold as porcelain, a skin that never again would feel a caress, an intimate touch from a loved one. A tragic end for such an heavenly existence.

Without my permission my hands moved on their own, finally addressing their desire to reach out.

I felt like a kid about to steal candy. I wasn’t allowed touching this stranger, but I couldn’t resist.

Trembling, my fingers hovered on top of his cheek, not wanting to close that final distance. I was leaning on top of him now, curiosity burning my cells, but too afraid to satisfy my need of knowledge.

 

He opened his eyes.

 

 “What the hell?!” I shouted as I fell backwards, staring at the guy, now glaring at me like I had disturbed his eternal slumber.  Shit, I probably had disturbed his eternal slumber.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He deadpanned me.

“You… what? Weren’t you dead?! You’re supposed to be dead!” I was still shouting, my arm still reached out, and the guy was still staring at me.

“Am I?” he was looking at me with disbelief, like I was saying nonsense.

“Yes, you are!”

“I don’t look much dead to you, don’t I?” He said as I got up. He raised an eyebrow at me. I could feel myself on the  brick of fainting, my head spinning from getting up too fast.

“You fucking do! You were supposed to be dead!” This conversation didn’t have a point. My brain had officially given up on me, and it wasn’t accepting any other explanation besides the obvious: I was talking to a ghost.

“Look, I’m sure as hell I’m not dead.” He was still lying on the cold surface. Besides opening his eyes, he had only moved his eyebrow and his mouth. How could a dead guy look so relaxed when talking to a living one.

“You’re in the morgue, of course you’re dead!” Am I supposed to deal with his passage? To get him to the Light? Solve his unsolved questions? I really didn’t want to go to his funeral.

“You’re also in the morgue, and you’re not dead. Why are you here in the first place? This is supposed to be a quiet place.”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Then I can assume you’re the one who’s dead.”

“I’m not dead! I am alive! I have body warmth and I’m standing, see?” I gestured towards my standing body. Dead guy’s gaze followed my hands. “You’re the cold one here!”

“I’m not cold, you incredulous bastard.” He said as he sat up. “You’re the one being cold here!”

I knew I was right. He had to be dead. I reached out my hand. Someone dead hat to be…

Warm, he was warm.

“How is this possible?” I cupped both hands on his cheeks. It wasn’t porcelain I was feeling. He felt warm, a flower kissed by the sun, on the end of a day. “How can you be so warm?” 

“Stop touching me.” He pushed me away. “I told you I’m not dead. Do you go around guessing everyone sleeping is dead?”

“You were… sleeping?” If he was sleeping, how did I miss him breathing? I felt my face hot as I understood I had been too busy being captured by his face to notice something as trivial as breathing.

“I fell asleep.”

People don’t come to morgues to trivial sleeping. They come for eternal sleep.  “You fell asleep on a morgue?”

He spent some time studying my face, probably wondering if I was as dense as I seemed to be. He must have concluded I was. “Yes. You see, this is such a lively place, people’s voices lull you to sleep. ”

Dead people can be sarcastic, I thought. Maybe he isn’t as dead as I though. I started listing what he could be, but he is too warm to be a vampire, too smart to be a zombie, to corporeal to be either a ghost or a hallucination, swears too much to be an angel and not too tempting to be a demon. I was lying to myself, he could pass as a demon.

A short, sarcastic demon glaring at me, waiting for a response.

“Uh… Why did you come here?”

His gaze travelled towards the door. “I’m hiding.”

My curiosity came back to life. “What are you hiding from?”

He eyed me. “Not what. Who.” So, he was hiding from someone. Maybe someone was after him. Maybe he was a criminal. That would explain his choice of hiding place. What if he was in danger? What if  _I_  was in danger?

“Oh, don’t give me that look kid, it’s not what you’re thinking. I’m just hiding from shitty glasses.”

“… shitty glasses?” I chose to ignore the kid part.

“That’s what I just said, jeez will you repeat everything I say? I’m here because I’m hiding from Hanji. She’s shitty glasses.”

“Girlfriend?”

“What, no! Why would you think I’d ever date Hanji? No, she’s not my fucking type.” It made sense that, if he was having trouble in paradise, he would be hiding from it. But she was not his type.

“Then what’s your type?” Great, just fucking great.

The words left my mouth before I could shut it. There was no taking back now. His eyes narrowed, and I looked away in shame, as I felt a blush fight to return to my face. Why do these things happen only to me? I couldn’t deny that he wasn’t interesting, but, for fuck’s sake, I was not remotely thinking of him like that. Now I sounded like I was flirting like a twelve year old.

He glared at me, one eyebrow rising. I must have crossed some dangerous line there.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to ask that.”

“You’re kidding, right? Of course you fucking didn’t. Normal people don’t ask that. Normal people wouldn’t last so long talking to me.”

 “Why don’t they last long?” That sounded overly sexual.

He was giving the evil eye now. I flinched and backed away a little. I could see now why normal people don’t last so long. I swear I could see one side of his mouth slightly lift up. He didn’t answer me.

We fell into an awkward silence.

“Why are you here, kid?” His body turned so he could face me, painfully analyzing my movements.

“I’m not a kid.” I whispered. “I’m 21.” I waited for him to talk.

“So? You want a prize for being 21?”

“What, no. I’m just saying I’m not a kid.” I forced myself to look at him. Why was it so important for him to understand I wasn’t a kid?

“Why are you here?” he insisted.

“I was looking for my classmates.”

“Are they dead?”

“No, they’re alive, but this was the last place left.” Class had probably already ended by now, so no point in continuing looking.

His eyebrow shot up as he looked around. “And you assumed you could start opening drawers?”

“I was curious.” I admitted. Now I really looked like a kid about to steal candy. “Wait, weren’t you sleeping? How do you know I was opening drawers?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You fucking woke me up with all the noise you made, brat.”

“Oh, I must apologize, I didn’t know  _you_  were alive.”

“Shut up.”

I couldn’t keep my eyes of him. He was so mysterious. I had already managed to embarrass myself multiple times in less than an hour, and he, however, acted as none of it affected him. I didn’t even know his name.

“I’m Eren.”

“… Levi.”

I grinned at him. “Nice to meet you, Levi! I’m Eren.” He quickly looked away.

“You’ve already said that.”

My phone buzzed on my pocket. Mikasa was texting me, asking me where I was and I noticed the time: class had ended almost half an hour before.

“Uhm, I should probably head back,” I said as I got up. “My sister’s looking for me. See ya soon, Levi.”

Shit, I did not want to say that. I quickly strolled for the door, stopping halfway when I heard indistinct calls from the outside.

Once I opened the door, I could hear a woman shouting Levi’s name, coming down the hallway. I stole a look inside. He must have sensed what I was about to do, because he was mouthing “don’t you fucking dare” at me. I waved him off and grinned mischievously, stepping outside the door, but not shutting it.

A bewildered woman collided at me, muttering “Sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“Are you Hanji?” I asked.

She squinted her eyes, nodding.

“Are you looking for Levi?”

She kept nodding. “Yeah, have you seen him? I’ve looking for him for ages!”

I peeked inside. “Short, black hair, handsome and blunt?”

Levi’s eyes were two slits, staring at me with a murderous intent. I stared back at him while I answered Hanji.

“He’s in here.”

Hanji shoved me off the door, Levi got up and I retreated back, shutting the door behind me.

“I hate you, you fucking brat!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> I also want to thank my lovely beta reader, thingsishouldntbedoing, for having the time to read this. If you don't know her work, you should check it because she is an amazing writer and wonderful person.  
> Also, here you go Lu-chan, thank you for pestering me to write this.  
> Comments are highly appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr: what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com
> 
> Hope to see you next time ^^


	2. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On that day, Eren received a grim remainder.  
> The gods are not merciful. The gods are cold blooded bastards who woke up today and thought “Eren Jaeger, we hate you, and you shall suffer!”  
> And Hanji is the devil. An angelic devil, but, nonetheless, evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys ^^
> 
> This is my the first time ever writing a fic, so I hope to meet your expectations ^^  
> Sorry this chapter is slightly late, we've been busy here *celebrates own birthday*  
> I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
> 
> Enjoy your reading!

**November**

Mornings always come too fast for me. Or maybe I was awake too late at night. Today, however, was an exception. I turned and tossed around the bed, waiting for sleep to come. It was four in the morning the last time I had looked at my alarm. After that, I decided sleeping was a lost cause, and contented myself with resting my body, only moving when necessary.

Showering was the easy part of the morning. The hard task was deciding what to wear, when the totality of your clothes has already been worn previously. Cursing under my breath, I returned to my room, to find out that Mikasa was actually an angel disguised as a sister, and had done half of my laundry.

 

“Morning.”

“Dad has already left.” Mikasa cut me.

“I can see. When’s he coming back?”

“Dunno.”

Life was proven to be full of routines.

 “Ah thanks for doing my laundry.” I said, munching through my cereals.

“It’s your turn next time. Twice. Don’t think I’ll forget.”

“You never do, ‘Kasa.”

 She grabbed her things and opened the front door.

“Uh, I think you should come here, Eren. I think something’s wrong with your car…”

“Just a sec, I’m finishing my cereals.”

“Eren, please come here, your car is trashed and my bus is already here.” Mikasa had to run to get inside the bus, but she kept signaling until she was off the view.

I dropped my bowl on the counter. “What do you mean, my car is tra- who was the fucking asshole who did this??!!” I yelled to no one in particular. Muttering, I checked the damage done to my car. All my four fucking tires were gone, and my beautiful car paint had been profaned. The gods are not merciful.

Sighing, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, to ask Armin if he could give me a ride to campus. Turns out, he was already at campus, therefore leaving me with no other option but to show up in front of Jean’s, and appeal to his merciful side.

 

“So, Jaeger, what happened to your precious car?” Jean asked me a in his own car. Looking at it made me miss mine, the cleanness of it. “Do you even clean your car?” I muttered, taking in the full extent of the damage done to the poor vehicle.

“Jeager, it’s my car and I’m giving you a ride. Don’t tell me how to keep it. Now answer my question.”

“Some asshole had fun destroying her.”

“Ah man, sorry. That sucks a lot. Molly didn’t deserve” Jean can be narcissistic sometimes, but he worries about his friends. Maybe he matured since high school days.

For most of the ride, I was questioned about the extent of Molly’s wounds.  I had expected Jean to joke about my car’s name again, but he wasn’t that good himself. He just hadn’t named it, yet.

Upon arriving at the university, we were gifted with God’s wrath pouring from the sky, in the form of demonic rain. We made a run for it, and sought shelter in the building. We made it just in time for not being too late.

“The only way this day could get better is if we had a surprise…

… test.” Jean finished my sentence, after checking his phone, not being able to hide his panic expression.

The gods are cold blooded bastards who woke up today and thought “Eren Jaeger, we hate you, and you shall suffer!”

 “Damn it Jaeger, you keep jinxing shit all the time!” Jean punched my arm.

“Fuck off, horse face, I am as screwed as you are.” I growled at him.

 

 

“This test was ridiculously fucked up.”

 Jean was talking to Armin, the latter nodding and trying to comfort him, blushing when I caught their little exchange.

“Eren!” I heard Armin call.

“Not now Armin, I need to be alone.” I needed some place to be alone, I couldn’t possibly deal with him babbling about whatever he wanted to. This day was giving me a tremendous headache and there was a high chance he was going to comment my shit karma or whatever he believes in.

I just needed a quiet place to relax. The thought of the morgue was creeping on the back of my head. It was the perfect quiet, empty, cold and morbid place. The probability of finding Levi lurking wasn’t an important factor in my choice. It definitely didn’t make me grin, as I thought about the last death glare he shot me. Perhaps, Levi had something to do with my choice of sanctuary.

 

 

Sighing in relief, I pushed the doors, making my way to the operating table on the center of the room. Levi wasn’t there. I was disappointed, not being aware that I had been hopeful. I shouldn’t be looking forward to meet the stoic man.

I laid down on the surface, shivering a bit form the cold kiss stolen from it. It really was quiet in here. After a while, I searched for my iPod, starting a random set of songs, skipping the ones that didn’t fit my mood. Eventually I drift off.

 

 

 “Oi, you’re in my place.” Levi shouted at my face.

I got up startled, slightly terrified for being woken up in such a harsh way. Levi was standing next to me, a glint of amusement flashing in his eyes. He was indeed short, however, the previous fragile look was casted away. Under his green gown, Levi was well built, muscular even. The type I wouldn’t mind to look at. I glanced away as I realized I’d been appreciating Levi.

“Were you actually asleep?”

“No, I was dead. Thanks for bringing me back to life.” I replied sarcastically. He signed me to move, and sat down next to me. I tried to finish gathering myself after such a rough awakening. Morning came too fast twice, only today.

“You don’t look bad for a dead guy. At least you don’t smell, yet.” I couldn’t know if Levi was being sarcastic or actually complimenting me.

“I fell asleep. I’m not dead. Yet.”

Levi rolled his eyes at me.

“If you keep up with the dead jokes it might happen earlier then you’d wish.”

“You wouldn’t… Right?”  Levi glared at me, dead in the eye. It sent cold shivers down my spine. Something in that look made me believe he would probably murder me, if he felt like it was the right thing to do.

“Don’t test my patience. I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now.”

“Why?” I tried to sound offended, ending up sounding disappointed.

“You gave away my safe place. You practically gave it to Hanji in a golden tray, thanking her for her time. I simply hate you, but it’s not personal, don’t feel special.”

For the next few moments we shared an awkward silence. I wasn’t good at being quiet, and without noticing, I began mumbling the last song I remember hearing. Levi must have been annoyed, because he broke the non-speaking vow.

“Why are you here anyway? Trouble in paradise?” He boringly asked.

“Uh, what?”

“Trouble with your girlfriend? She refused sucking you off or something?”

“What, no! I’m too gay to have a girlfriend…” The words stumbled off, and I felt my face heat up. Sure I hadn’t problems with being gay, but I don’t suddenly come out to handsome people so soon. Not that I was interested in Levi that way, for all that I knew, he could be as straight as a striper’s pole. I could only hope he wasn’t a homophobic prick. I even dared to defy fate and hope that he was gay too. I decided that’s why the Gods hate me, because I ask for the most impossible things, and they, being the supreme beings they’re supposed to, try to convey, and end up ultimately frustrated.

“So why are you here?” Levi did not seem to pay importance to my comment.

“I needed a place to be alone.”

“Should I leave then?” His eyebrow shot up, questioning me.

“No!” Great Eren, try sounding more eager next time. “I mean, you were the one here first, the other day.”

“Damn right I was.”

I remained silent, not knowing what to reply.

 Levi broke the silence, inquiring me again. “Why did you need a quiet place?”

All the day’s occurrences came rushing into my mind, and my mood dropped as much as the temperature in the room. Therefore, I began rambling on how shitty my life had been until that point.

“For starters, some asshole decided to hurt my Molly, I mean my car, and stole all my tires, and, being it not fucking enough, they screwed up its perfect paint! And the worst is that I am not entirely broke, but I also don’t have the money it takes to repair her. So I had to call Jean, and beg him for a ride, and let me tell you, I was not really excited about riding a car with him... It's like he made a fucking pact to remind me how I haven’t got laid for fucking centuries, and how he has, and he makes his personal goal to remind me how exciting is my life…” I trailed off, bright red, aware that I had just told Levi about my non-existential love life.

He was staring at me, eyes oscillating between confusion and amusement. After a while, he opened his mouth, closing it again, one side of his mouth twitching in a smirk.

“You named your car Molly?”

My mouth dropped in amazement, and my brain tried to process the question. I had been caught like a deer on the headlights. I was expecting him to comment my previous revelation, but somehow he overlooked it.

“Uh, yes.”

“You know, that’s the dorkiest thing I’ve heard in a few years that didn’t come from Hanji’s mouth.” His mouth was still caught in that one sided smirk that looked strangely good in his face. I wondered what a full smile would look on him, his angular features spread in a look of happiness. I turned my face away, hiding my visible blush.

“So, are you planning on riding with that Jean guy?”

“No, I couldn’t possibly make it without punching him. I’ll walk if I have to.”

He left me alone with my thoughts, and I could fathom a fault in Levi’s logic. It didn’t make sense for Levi to be here again, now that he had been found. In fact, he had enough time to find another hiding place, after our first meeting.

"If Hanji knows about your safe spot, why are you here again?" I blurted out.

"As long as she doesn’t remember, I’m safe here."

"Do even you have any other friends?" I couldn’t hide my curiosity. Besides, Levi didn’t seem to be the sociable type, and I found it difficult to picture him in a big group of people.

"What kind of question is that?" He glanced at me, eyes narrowing.

"Uh, I was just curious. You don’t seem like a sociable person..."

"Oi, I’m very much sociable! I wouldn’t be talking to you right now if I wasn’t."

“I think you’d still be talking to me. I’m pretty interesting.” Was I flirting with Levi?

“As if. And I have other friends. Hanji’s just the most annoying.”

I sensed that was the way Levi says he likes someone. For a guy with such a cool demeanor, he was quite sensitive towards others. Having him talk about Hanji made his eyes soften a tiny bit. He was fond of her. When I first looked at him, he had bored eyes, cold and emotionless, but, as the time went on, I had seen distinctive emotions make their way to those stormy eyes, fragments of his mind that transpired to his face, involuntary twitches he couldn’t quite control. The rest of the time, I could never know what he was thinking, a neutral face forever engraved to his features.

“Does she work here?”  I returned to our topic.

“Yes.”

“What does she do?”

“What is this, brat? Twenty questions game? Why do you want to know about Hanji?” Levi snapped at me, a dangerous look on his face.

“I don’t want to know about Hanji.” I admitted. “I’d prefer to know about you, if you’d let me.” I hoped my sincerity convinced him to let me know him better, and it worked, his behaviour returning to the calm aura. He was fascinating, precisely because he was a mystery, and I was willing to risk giving up that mystery.

“Nothing has ever stopped you.” He held my gaze, staring intently, and I felt my face begin to heat up.

“What do you do then?”

“I work here.”

“Here? Is that why you’re always here?” I would never imagine Levi working surrounded by corpses. He looked more like the surgeon type, judging by his attire.

“Well, you see, when you work at a given place, you tend to be around it quite often. You must be a precious little genius for that conclusion.” Levi’s voice dripped with sarcasm, letting me flustered with embarrassment.

“No, I mean, that’s why you’re always here, in the morgue? Because you’re the guy who, you know, cuts the guts?”

“What the hell are you saying, I’m a nurse here, kid.” There it was, the disbelief look.

“You’re a nurse.” I stated, mind glowing blank, and then filling with images of Levi in a nurse’s outfit. I cursed my imaginative mind for opening the gates of inappropriate thoughts in front him, flooding my head with pictures Levi would be ashamed of having me thinking of. Levi in a sexy nurse outfit was now glued to the back of my head forever. “Nurse outfits...”  I whispered, feeling my face heat up. Levi’s eyes widened, as he took in the words that left my mouth without my permission.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that out loud, please just forget it!” I said as I got up, starting to wander around the room in circles.

The next moments were the most painful ever in my life. My back was turned to him, avoiding any personal contact.

Sometime after, Levi chuckled. I turned around, to find him suppressing the laughter threatening to escape his lips. A smile made his way to my face and, after that, Levi couldn’t hold it anymore, and coughed a small, but genuine, laugh.

“I’m not going to do it.” He said when he finished.

“What?”

“I’m not going to put a nurse outfit for you.” His tone was still playful, eyes amused.

"I-I didn’t say I wanted you to put it on."

"But you thought of it."

I shrugged, defeated. Pleased with my answer, Levi smirked and faced the door once again, as I returned to my seat. He seemed comfortable enough to make jokes around me, and I thought this was a good time to inquire him about a topic that had been nagging my head for some time now.

"How old are you? You don’t appear to be much older than me."

“And if I am?" He raised an eyebrow at me

"You look good."

"I know."

"But you're a bit of an arrogant asshole." I had the feeling he knew that already.

"Here to please you."

"Really?” It was my turn to hide a smirk. “How old are you?" I inquired him again, as he circled my questions.

"Pushy brat. I’m turning thirty two."

Okay, maybe Levi looked a little too good for his age. I would never suspect he was already in his thirties, and I wasn’t judging for his height. His face barely had races of aging and he was in perfect shape, a fact that should turn most of the men around him jealous, and leave others drooling. I was conflicted between those two kinds, but I knew I was drooling.

"You look  _really_  good for your age." I had been staring at him for some time now, while my brain processed his age.

"You don’t look bad yourself." Levi said. His tone was a bit low, like he was thinking aloud. I flushed and muttered a thank you, not quite meeting his eyes.

Surprisingly, Levi was the one who talked next.

"So, haven’t got laid in centuries..." He said it with an emotionless tone, merely repeating what I had confessed. Or maybe he could be interested. I wouldn’t mind that.

"You don’t need to remind me."

"I didn’t mean it that way." His eyes were soft, and he reached up to stroke my arm, a reassuring move. Under my sweater I could feel the warmth irradiating from his hand, spreading to the tips of my fingers. I smiled at him, waving off his concern. He hastily withdrew his hand, as if he hadn’t been conscious of his gesture.

"It’s not that bad. It has a bright side you know, I can look at whoever I want to."

Levi hummed, meditating. I wasn’t sure of what to make of his interest in that particular part of my life, and hope began to rise. I hurriedly pushed it away. Levi was older, and he could still be perfectly straight. I let out a small sigh, and stared at the door Levi had been looking at.

He started pulling out a pack of cigarettes, and reaching for his light, when he stopped his motions and looked at me.

“Do you mind?”

I shook my head.

“Well, I think the dead won’t mind either.”  He lit up a cigarette, breathing in.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I groaned. I fished it, Levi’s gaze following my motion. The screen flashed with Armin’s name.

 “Hello?”

 _“Uh, Eren? Hey, it’s me. I’m just calling because I haven’t seen you since the test, and I was getting worried about you.”_  Armin’s voice sounded worried from the other side of the line.

“I’m okay. I just needed some time alone. Don’t worry your cute ass over me.”

 _“What? My ass isn’t cute…”_  Armin muttered, leaving me smirking at my best friend. I could feel his blush from here. “ _Anyway, will you take long? I am going home, and you need a ride, so…”_

“No, I won’t take long, although I might take half an hour.”

 _“Alright, I’ll wait. Don’t take long.”_  Armin hung up, leaving me staring at the phone.

 I turned to Levi, who was observing me, cigarette gone. “So, it seems like I have to go.”

“Yeah, you better hurry, if you don’t want to ride that Jean’s again.” Levi’s mouth twitched.

“God, why would you even suggest that!” I cringed awkwardly, getting up from my seat. I was regarded with the sight of a smirk and a nonchalant shrug. “Uh, I should really get going. See you around, Levi.” I turned on my heels, feeling a little uncomfortable.

“See you too, kid.” I heard as I left the door, so I turned back grinning and gave a small wave to Levi.

 

I was expecting a safe trip back to Armin, but halfway, I was stopped by a reckless smiling woman, glasses unevenly thrown over her nose.

“Hey, you’re that kid from last time!” Hanji beamed at me, finger pointing at my face.

“Eren. Nice to meet you, Hanji.”

“Oh, nice to meet  _you_ , Eren!” She shook energetically my hand, a knowing look on her face. “Haven’t  _you_  seen Levi around, by any chance? I need him for a few things, and he has disappeared!”

Levi had been right, Hanji didn’t remember about the morgue. Said woman was glancing at me hopefully, waiting for a response, but I knew Levi would probably give me the silence treatment if I gave him away, again.

“Maybe _I_  know where he is.” I smiled politely. “But I’m not sure if he’s going to be happy if I tell you where he is.”

 “We could make a deal.” A devilish smile appeared.

“A deal?” I questioned her uncertainly.

“Yes. You give me what I want, and I give you something you want.”

My eyes widened a bit, confused thoughts making their way to my head. There was nothing I wanted that she knew about.

“…something I want?” I repeated, eyes narrowing a bit.

Her smile widened, holding my gaze almost painfully.

“Levi’s number.”

My mouth hanged open for a few moments. The proposal was highly tempting, but I could already cringe at the thought of icy eyes staring angrily at the deepest holes of my soul.

“You know, he said you had a nice ass.”

Hanji was the devil.

“He-What?!” My ears were mistaken. I was hallucinating. The corpse’s gases must have induced in me some drug effects, because Hanji was speaking and her words weren’t real. Tricks, fooling my ears.

“I agree. It’s a nice ass to look at.” To prove her point, Hanji circled me and stared at the curve of my ass. When pleased, she made her way back, and held my gaze once again.

“Do we have a deal?”

“What? Levi likes my ass? That doesn’t make any sense.” I muttered, feeling my brain giving up on me.

She smiled mischievously.

“Oh honey, it makes perfect sense. Levi is an ass man.”

The bells weren’t ringing.

“Eren, honey, Levi’s gay.” A pause. “Very much gay. In fact, I don’t think he knows any other life style.” She explained slowly, making her point very clear.

Levi was gay.  _He said I had a nice ass._

 “Deal.”

“I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me! You’re just so cute, look at you,” She gestured at my face “flushing and all!” I smiled uneasily at her, handing out my phone. She quickly typed it in, not needing to check it, handing it over.

“Oh, we should also share ours too, as it seems you always possess valuable info on his location.” She grinned, my face heating up, but fulfilled her request.

My phone buzzed, Armin’s name spread across the screen. Hanji, of course, noted this.

“Ah, that’s my cue to leave. It was nice to meet you formally, Eren!”

I was left standing awkwardly, utterly confused.

 

* * *

 

 “Well, well, look what we have here!”

I rolled my eyes. “Go away, four eyes.” 

“Now, Levi, is that the way you say hi to your dearest friend?” Hanji looked offended, her hands on her hips, glancing down at me.

“Tch… Why are you here?”

“I need you for a few things, if you’re not too busy -”

“I am.” I cut her.

She tossed my legs to the side, sitting down. I tried pushing her, but she knew me too well, and avoided my kicks.

“How did you find me?”

“I made a deal with Eren.” She stated absently.

“What?” I raised one eyebrow at her.

“I traded your secret location for the knowledge of your number.”

“Uh?”

“I gave your number to Eren, and he shared your location.”

The brat had a death wish. He definitely was suicidal. He was going to end up here. “He’s a dead kid.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t kill him.” Hanji poked me on my side.

“Try me.” I deadpanned her.

“You think he’s interesting.”

My mouth opened a bit, mind searching for a response. Eren was cute, I had to admit, despite all the questions and nonsense talk. It was endearing how he blushed when he was caught staring, or when he said something he thought it was embarrassing. I let out the smallest laugh, remembering the nurse outfit incident. The brat was funny, and I didn’t mind his company. There were other traits that made him interesting as well. I liked his honest eyes, so different of my own, unable to hide his emotions. I could stare into his soul, lose myself on that sea, and I would enjoy drowning in such beauty.

 _What the fuck, Levi. Get a fucking grip…_ I thought, controlling my erratic feelings.

“…the hell, shitty glasses? I met him twice…”

“Yes, but you’re already interested. And you like his ass.” She waggled her eyebrows at me.

“I never said that.”

“I told him you did.”

“You what?!” I got up, fuming.

Hanji ran off the morgue, laughing all the way.

 

* * *

 

 

“Sorry for making you wait.” I said, rubbing the back of my head. It was a hard habit to break.

“It’s okay, just let’s go.”

Inside the car, Armin gestured towards my seat belt. He would refuse driving if I didn’t comply with this rule. He seemed lost in thought, gripping the wheel a little too absently, his lips on a thin trail. Armin was never one to worry others, so I questioned him what was wrong.

“Jean asked me for relationship advice.” He let out, voice low and steady.

“What?! _Horseface_ is actually getting laid? I thought he was lying when he said he had a date!” I was practically fuming on my seat. “He liked Mikasa just a few hours ago!” Everyone knew Jean had never got over his crush on my sister, even though he insisted he was. Maybe he really was over his high school sweetheart. Jean is actually one of my closest friends, but our relationship was a love-hate one.

Armin sighed, eyes darting at me for a moment, before focusing on the road.

“he says it’s a guy.”

“Jean IS BI?” I screamed. This car trip was one hell of a ride.

“I think so. But please don’t tell anyone, he only told me”

“Ah, I should welcome him to the club! And maybe initiate him the manly traditions of the homosexual tribe! God knows he’ll need them.”

“What?!” Armin’s eyes widened, panic crossing his own blue eyes. I didn’t resist, and laughed hysterically at him. “Fuck you, Eren. He doesn’t deserve that from you.”

I laughed even more, clutching my aching sides.

“So, who is he? Is he trying to finally confess his undying love towards me?” I asked with shaky voice, struggling to control another fit of laughter.

“Oh my god, Eren, shut up!” His face turned slightly red. “He didn’t actually said who he was, just that it was a dude, and that he was lost.”

“Oh. He should have come to talk to me, I have much more experience than you on that field.”

Armin glanced at me. “I did kiss you once in elementary school.”

“That doesn’t count and you know it.” I recalled this morning, Armin chatting with Jean after the test. His obvious blush now made much more sense.

“Still. He also said that he couldn’t ask you because ‘Eren would never let me hear the end of it.’” Armin quoted.

“Well, he isn’t wrong.” I said, as he parked next to my house. “I hope this guy is worth it though, or I’ll have to crack some bones.”

“Please don’t, Eren. He seems to really like him.”

“Alright, blondie. Do you wanna come in for a bit? We could play something and eat pizza afterwards… Celebrate his closet exit?” I offered. Armin punched my arm, smiling a bit. I took that as a victory.

The rest of the afternoon was spent fooling around with Armin. He kicked my ass several times, and I punished him for it, tickling my way out of failure. He asked me where I had been, and I told him about the morgue and Levi, and how I had embarrassed myself in front of him several times. Armin mocked me for this, and for my apparent crush that I absolutely refused that existed, of course, until I kicked him out of my sanctuary, with the promise of having him picking me up the next day.

 

My phone buzzed on the couch, an unknown number flashing on the screen.

**Levi: I know about your deal with Hanji.**

I stared terrified at it, eyes widening as I took the meaning of those worlds, and the person behind them. Seconds later, the device buzzed again.

**Levi: And your ass is nice.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> And thank you for all the support and comments i received, it means a lot ^^  
> This chapter wasn't beta'd because life happens, so if you catch any mistakes, please let me know.  
> Still, I want to thank my lovely beta reader, thingsishouldntbedoing, for the support. If you don't now her work, you should check it because she is an amazing writer and wonderful person.
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated
> 
> Tumblr: what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com
> 
> Hope to see you next time ^^


	3. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Levi, days follow a simple routine. He gets up, bathes, gets dressed and goes to work. Sometimes he has coffee, sometimes he smokes, and other times a bright eyed brat crosses his path and disturbs his routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys ^^
> 
> This work was beta'd by the lovely thingsishouldntbedoing *thank you*  
> Also, this chapter isn't Christmas-y yet, but it will happen  
> I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
> 
> Enjoy your reading!  
> (A quick note:  
> Italic text means that the narrator isn't directly hearing what is being said, or a conversation he is not holding, his thoughts or emphasis. The bar means change of POV, or a long lapse on time, and a long paragraph is a quick passage of time.)

**Beginning of December**

I sipped my tea as I watched the people go by, knitting my eyebrows together. How could there be so many people this early in a hospital? Did all of them get sick at night, or did they just camp on the goddamned hallway? I sighed for the fourth time in the morning. I could already predict a stressful day of work.

Hanji accommodated herself on the chair next to mine, clutching to her precious coffee. I was still pissed at her for taking the remains of my cigarette pack the previous day.

“So… How’s Eren?”

 “Why the hell should I know?”  I glared at her.

Hanji had given my number to the brat and, somehow, she had gotten his number in return. Those were the terms of their so-called “deal”. After acknowledging this, I had terrified her into giving me his number, with the purpose of scaring the shit out of the kid. Somehow along the way, my plan was ruined, partly my fault, and we ended up texting each other.

“Come on, Levi! I know you’ve been texting him…”

“I haven’t.” I lied.

“You’re lying. And you’re not the only one who has been texting him.”

Oh, right.

“So, why don’t you fucking text him, if you want to know how he is?”

“Because you are much closer to him than I am.” She sipped on her coffee. “He texted me just a couple of times.”

I was amazed. I had expected Hanji to demand Eren the content of every bit of our conversations. I didn’t know why she hadn’t done that, but I wasn’t going to push luck.

“He’s fine.”

“That’s all?”

 “What else do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one interested here!” I raised my eyebrow at her. “Oh, don’t give me that look, you know I’m right!”

“Fine, Hanji, I am interested.” She smiled, grinning like she had known forever.

“Finally! So, I’m thinking about inviting him for your birthday.”

“Absolutely not!” I rose from my seat, tea lying cold and forgotten. Hanji followed my motion, a disappointed face making its way.

“Levi! Why not?!” I ignored her and trailed over to my station. Hanji followed me.

“Because!” I turned and looked up. I hated being shorter than her. “Why would you fucking invite him in the first place?”

“Because he’s also interested in you! You guys became friends in such a short time, and you know that’s highly unusual when talking about you. Which proves my point! I must help you out!”

“What?!”  

“ou’re useless at romance.” I glared at her and turned on my heals. “Please, just think about it!” She insisted. “Just for dinner?”

I rubbed my face, too tired already.  “I suppose I can give it a chance.” She smiled mischievously.  “But I’ll ask him, I don’t want you giving the wrong impression…”

“Thank you, Levi!” Hanji beamed at, leaving, but not before she hugged me for more time than was strictly necessary.

 

* * *

 

 

I sighed as I heard Hanji calling my name again, gathering my belongings. It would be less than ten seconds before she got in, maniacal look on her face, rambling about another stupid idea, and totally overlooking the fact that we work on a hospital, not a crazy scientist lab. That woman would probably force someone into give their body to science, and they, poor flies on a mad woman’s web, would fall in her trap.

“My shift ended five minutes ago, I’m not fucking doing anything.”

“Oh, come on, Levi, it’s really quick this time!” See what I mean?

“No. I’ve got things to do and places to be.” I lied easily to her.

“No, you don’t. Or could it be you’re hiding some a mysterious boyfriend from me?” Hanji joked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Yes, and I’m gonna bottom tonight.” I replied sarcastically.

 “Are you going out with Eren, perhaps?”

“Fuck off, four eyes.”

I made my way out of the small room, ready to exit her space bubble, and she let me go. After checking myself out, I held a door open for the people going in.  _Santa better be looking right now, because this doesn’t happen frequently._  

I was lost in thought for a while, thinking how I needed to wash this scrubs the minute I stepped inside my house, when a familiar voice made me stop on my track.

 

_“..Armin, I said I’m fucking fine!”_

I shifted closer to the private area.

 _“You busted your head real hard there, dude, we’re just worried.”_  I peeped. A standing guy was talking, two coloured hair distinct on that light.

 _“Yeah, Eren, I didn’t think someone other than Sash could fall on the ice like that!”_ a choir of laughter rouse, followed for some complained from a girl.

_“Shut up, Connie, I had a concussion!”_

_“Please, don’t make a scene here, you two!”_  A blond boy chimed in. _“Do you guys think they’ll let me look at his x-rays?”_

_“If you tell them you’re a med student, I bet they would, Arm.”_

_“I’m not a lab rat, Armin! And you all should go back to your classes!”_ Eren’s angry voice replied.

_“Hey, asshole, we’re just trying to help you, there’s no fucking need to be angry!”_

_“Yeah, but Eren’s right, guys. We shouldn’t be crowding the room like this.”_ The boy’s logic seemed to work.

“Alright, alright. Text us if you need anything else, man.” The erson apparently named Connie said.

“Do you still want those cookies, Eren?”

“Nah, Sash, you can have them. And _If anything goes wrong I’ll call you, I promise.”_

There was a pause, and various shuffling noises, before a crowd of people exited the small room.

_“Well, then, I guess I’ll leave too. Do you need a ride, Armin?”_

_“No, Jean, you can go without me.”_

 I heard shuffling noises and pretended to be reading a report. The two coloured hair kid came out of the room, glancing inside one last time, before noticing me. I glared at him, and he went his way.  He was tall, taller than Eren, but I couldn’t be sure. When he disappeared, I made my way back to the previous place. The kid, apparently Armin, was still inside, Eren questioning him. 

_“How are things with Jean?”_

_“The same, I guess. He hasn’t said anything else about it.”_  God, I could feel his embarrassment from here.

 _“You know, I’m rooting for him. It’s time he takes that loser look out of his face.”_ He paused. _“He deserves some happiness in his life. Even if it means he’ll be getting laid before me...”_ I scoffed. Eren was as much of a little shit to his friends as he was to me. It made me feel a little bit less guilty for eavesdropping.

_“Well, I agree with you. And he seems happier these days.”_

They fell into a comfortable silence. Armin was the one who broke it.

 _“Do you think Levi is around?”_  Eren had been talking about me. I guess it was normal, he had told me they were pretty close.  I caught myself leaning. 

_“He works here.”_

_“Yes, but in pediatrics. Well, do you want_ him _to show up?”_ Eren took his time, probably pondering what to say next.

 _“I wouldn’t mind.”_  The little shit wouldn’t mind having me around. I furrowed my eyebrows. What kind of answer was that? Was I a fucking dog that you tolerate, you don’t mind his company? _“I would prefer if he was around, know what I mean? But maybe this is for the best.”_

_“Why do you say that?”_

_“I don’t know, Arm, I’m so confused!”_ Eren paused, thinking _. “He just-he pisses me off so much! I can never know what he is thinking about.”_  The brat sounded like he was going to have an aneurism. I chuckled.

_“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“Lost. You have a serious crush case.”_

_“I don’t.”_ Eren words were cold. 

 _“You totally do. I think you need a doctor. Or a nurse.”_  I decided I liked this Armin.

 _“Shut up.”_ I heard shuffling noises, the blond giggling.

Silence fell on the room.

_“Do you really think I have?”_

I felt this was my cue, it was the perfect moment to enter that room and haunt Eren’s dreams forever.

“Am I interrupting,” I entered the room, grabbing the record. “Mr. Jaeger?”

I kept a straight face while looking at him. Eren went pale as a ghost when he recognized me, and Armin looked slightly disturbed by my appearance. I knew he didn’t know me, so Eren was the only one shitting his pants right now. I smirked down at him, pleased with his terrified look.

“N-No…”

Armin got up. “Uhm, Eren, call me if you need anything.” He turned, discreetly analysing me, until his eyes focused on my nametag. His eyes widened comically, and his face turned crimson.  He looked back at Eren, who was now turning slight red, and left the room hurriedly. I suppressed the amused look on my face, and glanced over Eren. Armin turned back again when he reached the door, as to make sure Eren was still alive.

“Why are you here, brat?”

“Were you listening?” Eren cut me.

“I asked you why are you here?”

“I fell.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “People fall all the time. Is that why you’re  _here_?” I finished with a teasing tone. Eren’s blush deepened.

“I-I hit my head pretty hard. Everyone made me come here to check it.”

 “You should be more careful, we don’t want you ruining that pretty face of yours.” I was intentionally messing up with him. I found it quite amusing how I could make Eren flustered, I thought as he looked up at me, turning red, and studying my face for any signs of anything. I kept my neutral look. “Are you waiting for exams?”

“Yes.”

“Will they take long?”

He shrugged. “They told me it wouldn’t take long. It’s just to check, and then I’m good to go.”

Eren kept stealing looks, when he thought I wasn’t looking, sometimes biting his hand, a nervous habit, I mused. We shared an awkward silence until the doctor came.

“Levi! Why are you here?!” I opened the door to a grinning Hanji, who happened to be the Eren’s designated doctor.  I cursed my luck.

“Trying to keep this one alive.” Hanji looked at Eren, smiling when she recognized him.

“Oh, Eren! Nice skull you have!”

“Thanks?”

I rolled my eyes. Hanji always had the weirdest ways to acknowledge a friend. Taking a series of x-rays out, she proceeded to explain Eren that he hadn’t suffered any major injuries, but that he should pay attention to some symptoms. He kept nodding and adding to her explanation. _Show off_.

“As you hit your skull, you might experience some nausea and you might vomit. Do you live with anyone?”

“Yeah, I live with my sister, but she is working today.”

“Well, honey, I recommend you to not be alone at least for the night. Can you call a friend?” Eren glanced at me. He didn’t have a ride home, I realized. His friends were gone, and it was raining outside. I sighed, and he took it as an affirmative answer.

“I suppose so.”

“Then you’re good to go, if you promise me to be careful.” Hanji beamed at him. She got up, deeming him ready for discharge. “Good luck!” She whispered me, winking. She turned to Eren and waved, leaving us alone.

It was quiet for a while, Eren picking up his things, and checking out of the hospital. I followed him, not bothering to start a conversation. I did notice his clothes, though. He was wearing dark jeans, as he always wore, and a Christmas sweater. It was obnoxiously annoying.

We were at the hospital’s doors.

“Thank you for walking me here.” Eren was getting ready to leave and face the pouring rain.

“It’s no big deal.”

“Still, thank you. I’ll see you around, Levi.” He smiled at me, warmly. When he did so, he always narrowed his eyes, the sea colour melting and mixing. His face brightened the slightest, and his cheeks seemed pink.

“Oi! Where do you think you’re going?”

“H-home. Did I forget anything?”

I sighed. “You heard Hanji, you’re not supposed to be alone, and besides, it’s raining like the first day of the diluvium.” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll just call a cab.” The kid fished his phone, apparently oblivious to what a hint is.

“Tch. Come here, I’ll give you a ride.” I gestured towards my side, inviting him to move, instead of lying in the middle of the hospital’s hall, looking disappointed.

“T-thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah, just follow me to the car.” I pushed the doors and strolled to my car, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Eren was following. The car’s clocked showed us it was little past six.

“Your car is nice. It’s very… you.” Eren peaked around, taking in the interior of it.

“What does that mean?” I glared at him.

“I don’t really know.” In the darkness of the car, I could see a faint blush making its way over his face.

 I started the car, and exited the park. It was early, and I could use some caffeine.

“Do you want to grab some coffee?”

“Uh?”

“Do you want to grab some coffee?” I repeated, slower.

“I thought you were taking me home.”

“Never said that.”

“You said you were giving me a ride.”

I was losing my patience. “Do you want to go, or not?”

He thought for a moment. “If I say yes, won’t it be a date?”

“Yes or no?” I raised my voice, ignoring his question.

“Yes!” Eren nearly shouted. I smirked and he looked away, hiding his face. Teasing the brat was highly amusing.

“I can’t leave you alone and your sister will be late.” I explained.

 Eren was lost in thought. We travelled in silence. He seemed to have nothing to say and I focused on driving. After a while, he looked rather uncomfortable.

“Do you mind if I turn the radio on?”

“Uh, no. It’s your car.” I nodded, confirming his answer, and pressing the switch.

The boy relaxed almost instantaneously. Eren was intriguing. He could be so predictable and, the next moment, he was a hurricane, sucking everyone in. People orbited around him, and he, unaware of this, went forward and forward, pushing their limits. He drove them away because of that, I mused. Despite that, I had become a satellite, a moon attracted to her planet, just the right amount of velocity. It could be disastrous, if that ideal velocity was disturbed, we could collide dramatically, or drift apart forever.

I chuckled. From the corner of my eye, I could see him glancing, a confused look on his face.

“What?” I glared at him.

“Nothing.” He was wearing the expression he always wore when he was trying hard to not say what he was thinking. It didn’t work, most of the times.

“It’s just that, you seem on a good mood.”

“Do I?”

My question hanged loose on the heated air. 

 

 

I pushed the door, holding it for Eren. The interior of the coffee shop was crowded, a little too loud for my liking, and definitely much warmer than outside. He gestured me towards an empty table. I followed him, taking my coat off.

“Do you want anything?”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll go order mine just in a second.” Eren said, fumbling with his wallet.

“What do you want?” He was about to protest. “My treat.” I added. His face turned a dark red.

“Caramel macchiato, please.”

I returned with our drinks, caramel macchiato for the brat and a latte for me. He took his drink and smelled, smiling widely as the odour hit him. It was an endearing sight.

“Did you order that?” he gestured towards my cup. I followed his finger, and looked down at my own drink. I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure of what he had meant, until I saw it.

There were drawings, latte art on it.

_On my latte._

“What the fuck is this?” I mumbled.

Eren exploded on a fit of laughter, alternating between pointing at my cup and clutching his sides. I sent him my coldest glare and kicked him hard under the table. It didn’t do any good, he kept giggling. I shrugged and drank.

“Oh, it was cute! Now you killed it…” He stated disappointedly, sipping his drink.

“And you’ll be next on the line.”

“You wouldn’t kill me on our first date!” He said, playful look on his face. The little shit was teasing me.

“Who said this is a date?” I raised an eyebrow.

 “Then, this is a date!” Eren concluded. Where was the embarrassed brat I knew hiding? This one was too straightforward, cornering me.

“It is not a date.”

“Alright, alright… Not a date.”  He finished his drink, slurping. I cringed at the noise, so normal on Hanji, and disturbingly cute on Eren. No, the brat wasn’t cute.

“You remind me of Hanji.” I blurted out. It was true, only she could corner me like that. “She also wears those hideous things.”

“Hideous things?”

I pointed at his sweater. It was red, with reindeers all over it, dancing. He followed my finger, picking one strand that was loose, and staring back at me, wearing an apologetic look.

“I was in a rush this morning.” The kid rubbed his head. “Besides, it’s almost Christmas!”

“Christmas does not mean attack on fashion.”

He was a little taken aback. “I thought it was cute?”

“Tch. What makes the sweater cute or not is the person who wears it.” Eren’s gaze questioned me, wondering if I was complimenting him, face lifting up a bit, when he conclude I might have been. “Just stating facts.”

He was silent for a while. I had noted that he was contemplative today.

 “Is it a good thing?” Eren was suddenly insecure, his face betraying him. “Reminding you of Hanji.”

“I still don’t know.” He remained quiet.

“I don’t think you remind me of anyone. I’ve never met someone like you. I can never tell what you’re thinking, and you rarely let go of your mask. You’re a mystery.” Eren didn’t meet my eyes. Instead, he stared at his finished macchiato, and I had the idea that he was talking to himself.

“Is that why I piss you off?”

His eyes widened a bit, realization hitting him. “Yeah…” He breathed out.

“I’m sorry.” Guiltiness filled my stomach, leaving me vulnerable. I didn’t know why I was apologising.

“It’s not a bad thing.” I glanced, intrigued. “You, pissing me off.” He put the cup down.

“How is it not a bad thing?”

“Because it’s not  _you_  who pisses me off, it’s my curiosity that pisses me off.”

“You’re… curious?” He looked up and nodded. I sighed, already regretting my next words. “Okay, ask me.” I sighed. He examined me carefully, wondering if I was being serious. “Go on, you have three shots.”

“Why did you give me a ride?” He asked, straightaway.

I slumped on my chair. “To be on Santa’s pretty list.”

Eren rolled his eyes, pursing his lips. “It’s not fair if you don’t tell the truth.”

“Alright.” He imitated me, leaning down on his chair. “Because you looked like a kicked puppy. And I thought you deserved a ride.”

“I deserved?”

“Is that your second question?” I smirked.

“What?! No!” He looked betrayed. I chuckled and sipped my mild coffee. Eren admired me, before leaning closer. “You always do that.”

“What?”

“That.” He waved his hand at me. “You  _obviously_ find pleasure in teasing me.”

I chocked on my latte remains. “Do you know how wrong that sounded?”

He pondered his words, eyes widening at the double meaning.

“Oh my god, I didn’t mean it that way!” The kid covered his face with his hands, face blushing furiously, and I  _laughed._

 “You still have two more questions.” I mentioned after a while.

Eren looked around us. The place was less crowded now, dinner time rapidly approaching. There were some empty tables by our side, and the baristas were chatting. He spoke out of nowhere, interrupting my thoughts.

“I know. I was saving them.”

“They’re only valid today.” I dictated the rules.

“Hey! You’ve never told me that!” He pouted, eyes half-lidded.

“I’m telling you now.”

Eren meditated, playing with his cup. He often had childish moves, but, oddly enough, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Are you single?”

“Seriously?” It was my time to roll my eyes.

“Yes.” He had a determined look on his face.

“Are you sure?” I glared at him.

“Yes!” He almost yelled, looking around quickly when he remembered he was in public. Some people stopped and glanced at us.

I supressed a smile. I was getting a rise out of him, but it was reverberating against me. I had promised the truth, and this was his question.

“Yes.” Sighing, I repeated him, answering.

Eren smiled, pleased with my response. He didn’t comment or add anything else, only holding my gaze. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat, not overly fond of attention. After a while, his phone buzzed. Always that damn phone.

 

“Hello?” I couldn’t hear what the other person was saying.

“Uhm, yeah, I’m alright. Aren’t you still at work?” I recalled his words. He was probably talking to his sister.

“No, I don’t need you picking me up.”

“I’m fine, Mikasa. I’m with a friend.” I was a friend?

“Yes _._ Can you drop me off?” He glanced at me, and I nodded, confirming that I would drop him off.  _“_ Yeah, don’t worry.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon. Bye”

We left the store after I paid for our drinks (not without Eren complaining about how he should pay and that I was already giving him a ride), and I led him to my car.

“Is your sister home?”

“Yes. Armin called her, and she insisted on coming home to take care of me.” His last words had a bittersweet tone. I couldn’t know if he was disappointed.

 He gave me his address, and I made it to his front door in less than twenty minutes.

“Thank you. For the ride.” Eren didn’t make any move to get out of the car. “And the coffee.” He added.

I remembered Hanji’s words from that morning and groaned. I had to invite him for a dinner.

“My birthday’s on the 25th.” I began.

“You never told me you birthday was on Christmas!” He looked positively surprised. “It’s a birthmas!”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I still doubted he was 21. “We’re going to have dinner on that day, and Hanji wants me to invite you.”

“She wants?” His eyes narrowed.

I sighed, ignoring his question. “Do you want to come?”

He considered his answer for a moment, before looking away. “I think you would prefer spending your time with your friends.”

I sighed. “I’d also like you to come.” I admitted. I was already halfway there. If I was going to sink, at least I would sink properly.

He smiled warmly, as he was expecting those words for an eternity.

“Then I’ll go.” I nodded, waiting for him to get out. He turned to me again. “Well, depending on your third answer.” He smirked.

Oh, right.

“Was this a date?” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> And thank you for all the support and comments i received, it means a lot ^^  
> I also want to thank my lovely beta reader, thingsishouldntbedoing, for having the time to read this. If you don't know her work, you should check it because she is an amazing writer and wonderful person.
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated  
> I'm what-is-it-jeager on tumblr
> 
> Hope to see you next time ^^


	4. Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the time of joy and Christmas sweaters!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015  
> Hey guys ^^
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter is just a tiny tiny bit late...  
> But here it is, the birthmas!
> 
> Enjoy your reading!

23rd December

I dragged Armin to the mall, a mission set on my mind.

“I need to find a gift for Levi.” I told him, entering a clothes’ shop.

“For Levi?” Armin’s eyes widened, surprised. “I thought you were bribing me to help you study.”

“That too, but his birthday is in two days and I haven’t bought him anything.” I explained.

“He was born on Christmas?”

“Apparently.”

He had a smug look on his face. “Well then, I suppose we could say Levi is  _your_  lord and saviour.”

I jabbed Armin on his ribs. “Shut up.”

“Alright, alright…” He threw his arms up, surrender gesture. “And why do you need a gift for him?”

“Because-” I grabbed a shirt, placing it in front of me. “-he invited me for dinner. Do you think he’d like this one?”

He looked up to me. “No, he is too pale for that. And, he invited you for dinner?” Armin narrowed his eyes, questioning me.

“Yes.”

“Will it be a…  _romantic dinner_?” He teased me, a suggesting look on his face.

“Armin!” He giggled and then threw me a sweater.

“I like this one.”

“He doesn’t like Christmas sweaters.”

“It doesn’t look like one.” It was deep blue, tiny snowflakes twirling and dancing through the fabric. It almost looked like a normal one. I put the clothing in front of me and Armin smiled. I thought it looked good on me, but I was quite different from Levi. I glanced down at the sweater. It could work.

“It kind of matches his eyes.” I mumbled, noticing it too late to stop myself.

“Don’t you even dare telling me you don’t have it hard!” Armin laughed, mocking me. I punched him for it. Turning around, I smiled.

 

* * *

 

**25th December**

I stared at the entrance of Levi’s building. I was so close to meet him, and yet, so far away. When I asked for his address, this didn’t seem like an important detail. It never crossed my mind. And now here I was, staring outside his building, unaware of which one was his flat. Groaning, I took my phone out and called him.

 _“Eren!”_  An excited woman answered, and I stepped back, glancing at the windows. I could swear I had heard the squeal from outside.

I checked the call ID, confirming I had called Levi. “Hanji?”  

_“Hi! Why are you calling? We’re all waiting for you! Did you get lost?”_

“Uhm, no… I’m-I’m actually outside the building. I don’t know which one is Levi’s flat…” I heard shuffling noises, and a person protesting, but no answer of Hanji. I observed the screen. The call was not over.

  _“EREN!”_  She said. Actually, she shouted.

I looked up, opening my mouth in amazement. Hanji was at the balcony, waving and shouting my name, phone still in her ear. I imitated her, and brought the device up.

“Come up, we’re waiting!” She pointed at inside.

“I still don’t know which flat that one is.”

“Uhm, yeah, neither do I…” She grinned, and went inside.  _“Levi! Which one is you flat?”_   I heard him cursing, something lost between  _“shitty glasses”_  and  _“after all this fucking time”._  I smirked.

_“Eren? Still there?”_

“Yeah, I’m here.”

 _“I know now! It’s the 4B.”_  She informed.

I ended the call, sighing. No wonder why Levi had been hiding from her. The woman was exhausting.

 

I knocked three times. A moment later, the door was being ripped open.

“Good to see you, Eren!” Hanji greeted me.

“You too, Hanji!” I smiled and stepped in, only to be met by a brutal force smacking my lips.

Hanji was kissing me _._

 _At Levi’s door_. 

My eyes widened the most they could, watching the wild beast retreating, grinning like a maniac. I was shocked to immobilization. Any words I had planned to say were thrown out of the window, lost forever into the cold night. I could hear Hanji going on about Christmas and mistletoe, but my brain was lost. It didn’t make any sense. I took some steps back, fearing the wild beast.

_Hanji kissed me._

Why?

 

 “Oi! Earth to Eren?”

“Uh?” Levi smacked me.

 “Eren? Are you in shock?” He turned to Hanji. “Are you happy, shitty four eyes? He is in shock!”

She burst out laughing, and Levi rolled his eyes.

“I’m-I’m not… in shock...” I said.

“Are you sure? You look really pale.” He reached out, feeling my forehead.

“You know, Eren, if you’re in shock,  _Levi can treat you_ …” Hanji purred.

“Fuck off, Hanji. And you,-” He pointed at me. “-stop standing at my door.”

I started moving forward, following Levi.

“You two, stop!”

Levi glared at Hanji, cold as ice. “What now?”

“You are under the  _mistletoe_...” She smirked mischievously.

I looked up. Mistletoe was hanging from the ceiling. “So that’s why she kissed me…” I whispered.

“I am waiting for you, boys…” Hanji insisted. Levi raised an eyebrow, still staring at her. “Oh, you know you can’t get away with this, Levi!”

Levi shrugged and shuffled closer, his face betraying him. I felt my face heat, grilled on the hot fires of hell. My heart suddenly raced, the room getting too hot for me to handle. He smirked, got up on his tiptoes, eyes burning my soul, and leaned.

Levi kissed me on my cheek.

 _“Merry Christmas.”_ He whispered on my ear, his voice like silk, caressing me, and a bolt of electricity was shot straight to my mind, working his way down my body.

And then pulled away, one side of his mouth turning up slightly at the bewildered look of my face, and a faint trace of colour on his cheeks.

Hanji squealed and fell from the sofa she had been sitting on. “I got it on camera!”

This was going to be a long night.

 

I left the living room, and peeked into the kitchen, where Levi was cooking.

“Are you going to stare all night, or do you want to help?”

“Can I?” I didn’t really know how to cook, but watching him managing a knife was appealing.

He glanced at me. “Move your ass.”

I strolled over to his side, and he handed me a spoon.

“Try it.” I brought it up to my mouth, waiting first for it to cool down.

“Uhm, this tastes good!” I said, chewing the remains. “I didn’t know you can cook.”

He stopped his motions for a brief moment. “Well, you know, when you live alone there’s nobody to feed you…” He didn’t meet my eyes, handling the knife on his hands with precision. 

“You’d make a good wife…” I teased.

He ignored me. After a moment, I settled myself against the counter.

“So, is Hanji always like that?”

“Uh?”

“You know, the mistletoe?” I pointed at the door.  “Kissing your friends as soon as they knock?”  _Shocking innocent men like me_.

“Oh, that.” He threw the ingredients on the pot. “Yes, she does that every damn year.”

“So she kisses everybody that comes in?” I was thinking of adopting this tradition.

“Yes.”

“Including you?”

“Oh, she wouldn’t dare.” Levi’s tone was dangerous.

I examined the kitchen. It was spotless clean, except for the area Levi was working on now. Hanji had shown me around when I got in, and the rest of his house was also spotless. My mom used to tidy up the house when someone came too, a long time ago. I found myself searching for a distracting thought from that one.

“So, is anybody else coming?”

“Erwin just called saying he wasn’t coming, and Hanji said the others have  _things_.” He gestured inverted commas. “It will be you, me and Hanji!” Levi beamed at me, in a very sarcastic way.

I groaned, dreading the hours to come.  

 

“Care to explain why is everyone missing?” Levi put his glass down. Hanji finished stuffing her face with food, quickly swallowing all that she could.

“Uh?”

“You know, the people I used to call  _friends_? The ones  _you_  were supposed to bring?” He sounded resentful. Maybe he had been waiting for this reunion, and he had been disappointed, I mused.

“Ah! Petra went on vacation with Auruo, Erd and Gunther have family dinners, and I think Erwin had some kind of meeting?” She dropped the information all at once.

“He always has.” His tone was bittersweet. “Tch, I need new friends.”

“That’s why we have little Eren here!” She hooked my head, any possibility of escaping denied. Levi rolled his eyes and reached out to grab more food, while I disentangled myself of Hanji, succeeding. 

“I guess you are quite sociable…” I told Levi.

“Who? The midget there?” Levi kicked Hanji under the table, glaring at her for the midget comment. “Levi! That hurt!”

“And there’s more where that came from.”

“See, Eren?” She turned at me. “He’s not sociable!”

“You don’t complain, though.” He sneered.

“Of course not! You’re my dear friend, my little shrimp!” She was kicked again, but Levi’s eyes were playful this time. I was watching the exchange, amused, sipping on my own glass.

“I think that’s enough wine for today, four eyes…” He took her glass, emptying its contents.

“But I didn’t drink that much!” Hanji pouted.

“Oh, please, you were already drunk when you kissed Eren.”

I chocked on the meat I was chewing. Hanji’s head snapped at me, and she  _laughed_. I groaned internally, looking away, and failing to catch the way Levi’s eyes followed my motions.

 

Levi got his cake, carrying it to the table, pace slightly uneven from the wine he had drank. Hanji insisted on having thirty two candles on his cake.

“I am not fucking lighting all those candles up.”

“No, dear, you just have to  _blow_  them!” She stared at him, as if she was implying things I shouldn’t be thinking of and that I was okay with. Things I really didn’t mind right now. Or ever.

“Eren here is going to help me light them up!” She continued. There was no salvation now. I had been summoned by the devil.

 

Thirty two candles later, we began our gift exchange. I had also bought Hanji a Christmas sweater, at the last minute. It was a traditional one, red and hideous.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to give you.” I explained her.

She tore the paper. “Oh, I love it! And here, I had the same problem.” She smiled, and gave me a package. I opened it, and was rewarded with one sweater myself. We laughed together, and decided to put them on.

Levi sighed. “Great, now you both look silly.”

“Ah, Levi, don’t be so mean!”

I grabbed his present, offering it to him. “Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks.” He mumbled. I watched anxiously as he began tearing up the paper, terrified of his reaction. He took the clothing off, staring at it firstly, and then glaring at me. He looked down at it again. “Not bad.”

“You like it?” I watched fervently.

“Yeah, it’s not as bad as they normally are.” He turned the sweater, admiring the full extent of it.

“Can you put it on?”

He paused. “That’s pushing luck, kid.”

“Just today?” I pouted at him, hoping that my puppy eyes would convince his cold heart. “Please?”

He glanced at me, and I kept my look. “That’s not fucking fair.” He mumbled, fetching the sweater. I grinned, but it died as soon as Levi’s torso was revealed, his previous shirt tossed aside, and replaced quickly by my present. I was disappointed at the loss of the sight, the image glued to the back of my mind, and blushed furiously when I acknowledged that.

Hanji patted me. “You have a  _gift_.”

“Fuck off, Hanji.” I turned my attention to Levi once again. My predictions had been right, it matched his eye colour. However, I hadn’t predicted the sweater to be a little oversized, the collar hanging loose, revealing his neck, and the sleeves finishing lower than they should.

Hanji interrupted, fumbling between the papers torn around us. “Did you get two presents, Eren?”

“Uhm, yeah, I did. Bu that one is more of a joke…” I started unsure, crimson red making its way to my face.

“Open it!” She shoved the gift in Levi’s chest. Paper was once more torn. 

 

“What the fuck, this is a-”

“- _sexy nurse outfit_!” Hanji rolled to her side, lost in laughter and banging the floor, while I faced the evil glare emanating from Levi.  _If looks could kill_ , I thought.

I opened my mouth and closed it, searching for the right words. Levi had the most serious look on his face.

“I’m-I’m really sorry, it was just a joke…” I was interrupted.

He, incapable of holding back any longer, burst out laughing, joining Hanji on the floor, who was crying now, leaving me staring at the two adults. I didn’t know wine could be so effective.

“I am… still… not wearing it.” He said, giggling.

“Oh, Levi, please wear it!” Hanji begged.

“No! I am not letting the public see my gorgeous legs!” I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or worry for his health.

“Just for us, please!”

“What? Not even for you…”

“Then, for Eren?” Hanji said. I stared at her, eyes widening, and cheeks heating up more than they already were.

He examined me. “Well, that could be arranged.”

“What?!” I yelled, not trusting my ears. Hani and Levi threw themselves back, clutching their sides.

“Jaeger, your face was so funny!”

 

* * *

 

 

“No! I want to watch  _The Nightmare Before Christmas_!” Hanji pouted. We had decided to watch a movie after dinner, but it was a troublesome task. Hanji and Levi had been arguing over which movie we should watch, after I suggested we watched a Christmas one.

“That’s not even a Christmas movie!” Levi said.

“You don’t care if it is a Christmas movie or not!”

“But Eren does!”

“Uh, guys, I don’t mind watching other types of movies…” I thought it was amusing fighting over movies at first, but it had been almost an hour and we were still sitting on the floor, Hanji and Levi peeling of each other faces for a simple choice.

“See, he doesn’t mind, Levi!”

“Oh, maybe precious Eren could suggest what movie to watch…” He scoffed. They turned their heads to me, Hanji anticipating and Levi glaring. I furrowed my eyebrows, concentrating on finding a Christmas movie that would entertain them.

“I like the Grinch…”

“Wonderful idea! Levi likes that movie too, right?” She turned to him, pleading him to agree.

“It’s not bad…” He still pursed his lips.

 Levi was staring attentively at the screen, glued to every scene. We were seated on his couch, the exception being Hanji, who preferred being sprawled down on the floor. Every now and then I stole glances, admiring him in the dark of the room. My gaze travelled towards his face, taking in the way his tired eyes fluttered or the light pink on his cheeks fading. Sometimes, his jaw would clench, and his eyes narrowed, following the movie’s lines. His neck was slender, but not fragile. His whole body followed a Greek architecture, in  _small_  detail. His height was not ideal, but he wasn’t fazed by it. Levi’s glare would reduce anyone, to the point he became superior.

“Do you like the view?” Levi raised his eyebrow. Maybe I wasn’t just stealing glances.

“Yeah…” I said honestly.

He smirked. Hanji snored lightly, and we looked down at her. Levi kicked her softly, and she rolled to her side.

“Fucking Hanji, she got drool on my carpet.” He returned to his place, seating a little closer.

 

 “You know, sometimes I get lonely. Hanji is always the first to notice.” His eyes focused on her. “I think that’s why she wants us to hang out so much.”

“You love her.” He furrowed his eyebrows, confused by my conclusion. “I mean, as a friend.” I elaborated.

“I do. She’s my best friend, and I don’t know what I would do without her.” Levi chuckled, his body shaking slightly. “Don’t tell her I said that, I’ll never see the end of it.”

I joined him, laughing quietly.

“Thank you for coming today.” 

“No problem. I didn’t have plans for today.” I lied.

“And thank you for being you.”  

“Thanks?” He stretched his arm, ruffling my hair and then straightened himself, admiring his work.

“I like you hair.” I blushed under his burning gaze. He blew some strands away from my face. “And your eyes.” He moved closer, placing his face in front of mine, directly staring at my eyes, too close.

“T-Thank you.”

His own eyes dropped, staring at my chapped lips. I fidgeted, warming up alarmingly.

“Uh, Levi?”

“Uhm?” He looked to my eyes again, staring through half lidded eyes.

“You’re too close.” I whispered.

“Am I?” I nodded, not trusting my voice. I couldn’t move .

I held my breath as Levi leaned in, his eyes fluttering close at the end, and my body stiffing. He pressed his lips to mine, a mere touch that send jolts of electricity down my spine, fire burning me inside out.

“I owed you a kiss.” He said, pulling back.

“You-You did?” I was still breathless.

“For earlier.”

I glanced at the  mistletoe hanging above the door.

“Eren?” Levi caught my chin, forcing my head to turn.

“Yeah?” I looked back at him.

_“Merry Christmas.”_

His hands found their way to my back, pulling me closer, and he closed the space between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! It means the world to me to know that my work brings joy and amusement to you ^^
> 
> As ever, I want to thank my beta reader, thingsishouldntbedoing. If you don't know her work, you should check it out!
> 
> Again, I'm sorry this is late, but these past weeks have been complicated, and now that classes have begun, it doesn't look like it'll get better.... As an apology and a thanks for the 1000+ hits, there'll be a second part this week!
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	5. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after rolls and puts an end to the Christmas season. Levi and Eren wake up to a new day, and it's time to face what a drunk memory can mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON THE 26TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys ^^
> 
> Here is the second part of the very late Christmas chapter.  
> Also, I have a few headcanons for this fic, so i might be publishing them on my tumblr, what-is-it-jeager, and under the "nalgb" tag
> 
> Enjoy your reading, and have a fun ride!

**26th December**

My nose itched, and I brought my hand to my nose. I felt a body stir, moving closer to mine, heat irradiating. Content, I pulled the person closer, and rested my head. Soon, the feeling returned to my nose and I opened my eyes, to determine the source of my disturbance.

A ball of black hair rested below my chin, the strands scattered around haphazardly, some of them reaching my nose. Carefully, I blew them away.

Levi slept in my arms, a blanket thrown over us. I smiled down at him. His face was relaxed, mouth hanging slightly open and cheeks tainted pink, from the shared heat. His lids remained closed, giving me the time to fully take his image in. He looked more rested than I'd even seen him.

We had fallen asleep entangled, lost in the sensation of arms pulling me closer. I decided to seize this moment, the feeling of his body pressed to mine, his hand gripping me, snuggling closer, and just how right we fitted on that tiny couch. Slowly, I leaned in, kissing the top of his head, lips longing for a moment.

“What are you doing?”

I jumped as I heard his voice. “Levi!” He didn’t move. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up…”

“I have light sleep.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know…”

He looked up, narrowing his eyes. “Were you smelling my hair?”

“What? No!” I tried to hide my blushing face.

“You were…” His eyes glinted with amusement. The place we were sharing was getting painfully hot, and I started fidgeting. Soon, Levi disentangled himself from me. “Shit.” He held his head, face twisted in a pained expression. The face of an hangover. Then he got up and walked out, leaving me alone.

I sighed and rubbed my face. Levi came back a moment after, a cup of water on a hand, and a note on the other.

“Hanji left earlier.” He passed me the paper.

 

_“Dearest Levi,_

_I’m truly sorry I left this early, you are always hilarious in the morning, but Moblit called and I’ve got to go._

_This was the best birthday party you had in a year!_

_Oh, I left you some painkillers. You’ll need them, desperately…_

_Also, have fun with Eren! (you two looked so cute together, I’m rooting for you!) (oh, please be safe…)_

_Your shitty friend,_

_Hanji!”_

 

I grunted after reading what she had to say, burying my head in hopes of avoiding the whole world. I would gladly go home now, dig a deep hole and ask Mikasa to cover my doom in dirt.

“That’s so fucking dumb, she knows I’m always safe...” Levi had been peeking over my shoulder. He said it like it was the most natural thing to say to your guest. I rolled my eyes at him, cursing myself for catching his quirks.

“What? I am.”

“Seriously?” I couldn’t believe he was telling me this right now, when it was obvious I was still trying to get over my now permanent blush.

“I’m a nurse, of course I am.”

“Oh my god!” I got up from the sofa. Levi’s bluntness was shocking in the morning. It left me speechless. I could swear I heard giggling, but I was probably hallucinating.

 

 “So, did you have shower?”

“Uh?” I glanced up, chewing my pancakes.

“Your hair is wet.” He said. I had poured some water on it when I was at Levi’s pristine bathroom, on a vain attempt to tame it. Now that I thought about it, i should have had a proper shower.

“It was messy… I tried to comb it, but it wouldn’t work.”

"Disgusting." Levi looked down at his food, picking on kit distractedly. I had had the feeling something was off all morning. I was getting worried.

“Are you okay?”

 “My head hurts.” He cut a small piece and brought it to his mouth. "I should have remembered that I'm not twenty any more." I stared at his lips, soft and thin, the lips I had kissed last night. A warm feeling spread over my chest, ultimately reaching my cheeks, and my mouth went dry. It wasn’t the time to behave like a twelve year old.

“How-How drunk were you last night?”

He considered his answer for a moment. “Enough, apparently…”

The words rang on my head. “Oh.”

My mood dropped considerably. Sure, I had had some drinks, but Levi and Hanji drowned a few bottles of wine. Maybe he didn't remember all of yesterday.

“But I wasn’t that drunk, if that’s what you’re thinking about.” He said, looking at me.

“So, you remember last night…”

“I do.” He turned his face away from me. “And I’m sorry. I was drunk, and I-I mean, you’re cute. I didn’t mean to take it so far.”

I stared at my plate. Somehow I wasn’t hungry anymore. The room felt too cold and too hot for me.

“Oh.”

It had been a mistake. _I_ had been a mistake.

I don’t know how much time I kept staring at my remaining food. I was afraid if I moved, reality itself would collapse and crash over me, bury me with the painful truth.

“Are you finished?” Levi knocked me out of my stupor state. My food was halfway eaten, but it wouldn’t go down my constricted throat anyway. Looking at the food was sickening, but the thought of having to hold his gaze was terrifying. I nodded and he went away, our dishes in his hands.  

I needed to get away from this place. I felt my eyes burn and I looked for an escape.  Levi hadn’t returned from the kitchen, and I could hear water running. I gathered my belongings quickly, scattered on the couch I had slept so peacefully on.

“Are you leaving already?” I halted my pace and turned to Levi, who was looking at me with confusion written all over his face. And disappointment? No, that was only in my head.

“Yes, I-” My voice broke and I coughed. “I need to go now.” I couldn’t stand his innocence.

“Are you okay? I can drive you, you don’t need-“

“It’s fine. I’ll walk.” I cut in, opening the door.

I strolled to the outside of his house, eager to leave the oppressing place.

“Eren?” I closed my eyes and wheezed, not meeting his eyes. “Do you…” His words were caught on his throat. He coughed once and tried again. “I’ll see you around.”

I nodded. There was a ghost of a smile on my face, the one I could manage. “Sure, I'll call you.” I lied.

His eyebrows were furrowed when I glanced him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> Well guys, what can I say... It was a fun ride? I'm sorry? It will be alright?
> 
> As always, I want to thank my beta reader, thingsishouldntbedoing. If you don't know her work, you should check it out, her person and writing is amazing!
> 
> There's no guaranty there'll be a new chp these next weeks, my tests will begin, and I need to reconsider where I want this fic to go. 
> 
> Coments and feedback is highly apreciated, and I'll answer all your questions, be it here or tumblr, as long as they don't make me reveal major spoilers ^^ 
> 
> Stay tuned!


	6. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I fuck up things. I don't do it on purpose, but it happens. Normally, I'd go around until my problems solved themselves, but sometimes, they just don't go away. And sometimes I ask Hanji some advice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys! 
> 
> I'm so sorry this is so late, I've been having the worst writing block ever, and it won't just go away. This chapter probably won't fill your needs, but work with me here for a while. 
> 
> That said, I'm really sorry guys, please forgive me ^^ 
> 
> Enjoy your reading!

**26 th December**

Eren had been silent for a while, and a heavy atmosphere had fallen over us. I searched for anything that would help to dissipate it.

“Are you finished?”

He stared at his food and slowly nodded. Most of the times I was pretty quick to tell what he was thinking about but with his face hidden I couldn’t do it. I sighed and took our plates.

I rinsed the dishes and fumbled around with the washing machine. Eren’s reaction didn’t leave my mind. I had been honest when I said I was sorry for kissing him so forward, I never intended to scare him out. I liked him, and I wanted him to reciprocate my feelings, but I was at a loss. I was shit with emotions and my life had suffered a fucking major turn since he stumbled on that morgue. 

I heard the squeaking of a chair, and Eren messing around. If that was his idea of being quiet, he was falling miserably.  I halted my pace as soon as I returned to the living room, a packed Eren ready to leave my house.

“Are you leaving already?” I asked, confused. He was pale as a ghost, his once fiery eyes down and disappointed. I wanted those eyes back, green and blue mixing together in a ray of light, an ocean of emotions twirling, so different of mine.

“Yes, I-” He coughed a bit. “I need to go now.”

“Are you okay? I can drive you, you don’t need-“ You don’t need to look like you’re running away, is what I would like to have said.

He cut me. “It’s fine. I’ll walk.”

My mind raced, and my realisation hit me. He looked hurt. I had hurt Eren with my words. While trying to protect him, I had managed to hurt him, and possibly scare him away. I played my words again in my head.

He wasn’t looking for an apology, he was hoping for a confirmation. And all I had done was saying that I had made a mistake. I had fucked up.

“Eren?” I wanted to apologise, but that was what lead me into this mess. I wanted to explain myself, but he wouldn’t listen to me right now. “Do you…” No, asking him for going out isn’t the most appropriate thing right now, you asshole. I chocked on my saliva and coughed. “I’ll see you around.”

He nodded and looked at me. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face, tearful eyes tainting words that didn’t match his eyes. “Sure. I’ll call you.”

I watched him leave.

 

 

 

**8th January**

“Where the hell are you?” I hissed through the phone. “You’re late, as usual.”

“I’m coming, I’m comiiiing... Did you miss me that much?”

“No, I’m just hungry.” I replied to the phone. It was amusing that Eren still tried to tease me. Somehow, it didn’t irritate me that much, but once again, he was an exception to most of things.

“Well, now I’m here.” A voice whispered next to my ear, causing me to flinch.

“Holly shit, Eren, don’t come behind me like that!” I looked up to his smiling eyes.

He leaned in, his smooth lips sliding over mine lightly, until I deepened it, asking permission with my tongue. Such a small gesture, and I was so acquainted with it that it was already natural. Like breathing. He, however, tasted like cherries, and that was odd.

“Are you wearing lipstick?” My eyebrow shot up.

Eren stared at me, lost. “What?”

“You taste like cherries.”

“Oh, that. Mikasa said I had chapped lips, so she let me borrow her lipstick…”

“Gross, I just indirectly kissed your sister.”

He threw his head back and laughed, clutching his sides. “Oh, Levi, I missed you!” I rolled my eyes while a warm feeling spread itself like waves through me.

“Obviously. Can we go eat now?” I shoved my hands into my pockets, and motioned for him to follow me. Behind me, Eren was glued to the ground. “Hey…” I started softly. 

He smiled again in return, like that day on my door. “I really missed you…” One single tear rolled down Eren’s perfect face, but it was too late to reach out and catch it, to sooth the pain on those hurt eyes. Now, they were spilling out their feelings right in front of me.

I woke up startled. The clock read 4am.

I closed my eyes, and I could still see him, the dream burning behind my eyelids.

 

* * *

 

  

My useless Christmas tree sat on the corner of my living room.

Why it was still there I didn’t know.

How can you forget what it felt like to open your favourite gift? How can you forget all the times you were happy? Mostly you can’t. you keep reminders, pieces of memories scattered around you. It helps you to get through the hard times, but it also backfires. It leaves you longing, missing, replacing, aching.

I sighed. I was pathetic, I couldn’t pick up the phone and make a simple call. I was pathetic because the sheer amount of force I was using to grab a single piece of clothing was enough to make my knuckles turn white.

“Levi, you’re ringing.”

I stared down at Petra. Bless the holly fucker in charge of this universe for making people that are shorter than me. “I’m what?”

“Your phone is ringing.” She said gently.

“Oh, yeah, thanks…” I fished the device out of my pocket. Strictly speaking, we weren’t allowed to make personal calls, but we kept them around. But if you happen to be Hanji Zoe, that concept will go straight through the window, because she really doesn’t give two shits if I’m on duty or not, when it comes to her “scientific research”.

“What do you want?” I spit.

_“Are you on break?”_

I rubbed my tired eyes and tried not to sound too pissed off. “Yes, weirdo, you know my fucking working schedule.”

I could almost hear her smirking on the other side.  _“That’s true, my dear shorty.”_  I furrowed my eyebrows.  _“Could you come down here and help me with a thing…”_

“What thing, Hanji?” I deadpanned. Things weren’t good when Hanji was the one calling them things. 

She paused.  _“Okay, don’t freak out. There was a pretty brutal accident this morning-”_

I dropped my mouth in amazement. “Fuck no, they were people, Hanji, show some respect!” She didn’t pay me enough for me to risk my position. Hell, she didn’t even pay me, it was all in friendship’s name.

_“Wait, Levi, it’s nothing like that. Mike is letting me see the autopsy and I thought you might enjoy it… Like, a real life gore scene? I know you love those, when you’re on the mood.”_

“I’m on the mood.” It would be a nice change.  _Something new to dream about_ , I thought sarcastically. 

 _“Great!”_  She beamed.  _“Meet me on the morgue, in five minutes.”_

“Forget it.”

 _“What?! Levi, you just said y-”_  I ended the call.

 

 “Uhm, Levi...” I brought the cup to my lips, careful not to burn my tongue on the process. I didn’t know why I cared, it wasn’t going to be used anytime soon. Still, I waited for the liquid’s surface to cool down, just for precaution.

Even facing his side, I could see those bright eyes squinting at me, wondering why I insisted to drink this way. I smirked at his confusion. It wasn’t that it was more comfortable or more elegant (in fact, it was quite the opposite). I was just used to drink this way, and never bothered or cared enough to change it. And I was sure as hell that at thirty two years old I wasn’t going to change.

“Levi!”

 I jumped slightly on my seat. Hanji watched me with worried eyes behind her glasses.

The peaceful image inside my brain disappeared like smoke on swirling on air. For moments, I had forgotten that Eren was out of my reach, and had been for more than a month.

“Are you alright?” She enquired.

I looked away again. “Yes.”

 “I can see you’re not.” Hanji extended her hand towards me. “First of all, you’re having coffee.” She crossed the space between us, resting her elbows on top of our table. I cringed internally. God knows how many germs lived on her elbows… “And the bags under your eyes are twice the size they usually are, I’m actually seriously thinking about calling a designer and ask them about any stolen items. Which leaves us two options: either you didn’t sleep because your brain was riding the thoughts rollercoaster, or you were kept awake all night, but riding another kind of rollercoaster…” She raised her eyebrows, proud of her words, and returned to her normal sitting position. “And I don’t think it was the second, my dear frustrated friend.”

I drowned whatever coffee I had left on my cup and groaned. “It was both.”

“Uh?”

“I couldn’t sleep because I kept seeing his face.”

She stared, confused. “Eren?”

“No, the prime minister… Who the fuck do you think that could kept me awake like that?” I spit.

“Erwin?”

“He wishes.”

“I know.” She smiled and pushed her glasses all the way up her nose’s bridge. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I glared at her. No, I definitely didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to bury my growing feelings in a dusty corner of my mind ad pray I would never have to dwell on it again.

“Look, I’ve been observing you…” I felt my eyes widen. “Oh don’t look at me like that, I’m worried!” She leaned in, dropping her tone of voice. “I saw the way you two behaved around each other, on your birthday. Pretty much everyone that saw you both would tell you were…” She paused, searching for the right words. “Infatuated with him.”

I rolled my eyes. “No. And this is why I don’t talk to you.” Crushing the cup between my fingers, I began to get up.

“Sit down, grumpy, and let me finish.” Hanji looked around us, gathering her thoughts. “As I was before you interrupted me, all was going well. So, I assume you fucked it up, and now you have to fix it.”

My mouth fell agape. “What?!”

“Honey, Eren is cute, and he obviously also likes you, for reasons that I can’t fathom. Fix. It.”

I hated Hanji for being right. And I hated Eren for being a brat. “No. I’m fine as I am.”

She rose from the chair and grabbed my wrist, tightening her hold painfully. “You dreamt about Eren, you had nightmares with him crying! That’s not being fine, Levi. Just admit it, you like him, and you fucked it up by being the inexpressive asshole you always are!”

“Yes, I did!” I exploded. “I fucked it up, and I don’t know how to fix! And every day there’s moments when I remember him and I can’t get it out of my system because it is my fucking fault, I made him cry!” At this moment, I was raising my voice, and some people around us were staring. I paid no mind to them.  “And I don’t understand these feelings, because I’ve met him for little more than three months and here I am, acting like a teenager with a fucking crush!”

She smirked at me. “Aw, I didn’t know you were capable of expressing love, Levi.”

“Fuck off, four eyes.” I growled. I didn’t love the brat.

We fell silent for a while, Hanji distractedly watching the few wanderers passing by.

“He has been avoiding you.”

I stared at her, unable to understand. “What?”

She sighed. “he has been playing hide and seek for a week.”

“You’re just making this up to convince me.”

Hanji huffed and grabbed her phone, shaking it in front of me. “I’ve helping him. And I might or might not have a solution for your problem.”

I raised my eyebrow. “I don’t have a problem.”

“Okay, so I might have a solution to a problem you don’t have.” She corrected with a knowing smile.

I sighed.

“You already missed Valentine’s Day, but I believe you can use the idea…”

I glanced at her, mildly interested. “How so?”

She rested her chin her hands. “Well, how about just asking him out?”

Obviously, Hanji had no experience with this. Not that I had a lot more, but at least I knew that you can’t just ask someone out like that, right? I groaned internally. “I don’t think that will do.”

She stared at me, shocked. “Are you serious? Of course it’ll do.”

“I don’t think it’s enough… I mean, I can’t just go there and ask him the fuck out? He’ll probably send me back in two seconds…”

“You have strange conceptions, friend…” She laughed. “Buy him flowers, if you think that will do it. I don’t know if you guys fall for that too, but if someone offered me flowers and asked me out, I wouldn’t say no. ”

“If you say so, shitty glasses…” I said as I got up from my seat. She was right beside me in a matter of seconds. We walked in silence through halls filled with sick people, visitors, lost children and lonely elders. Hanji offered them smiles, and I made some mental notes to visit them later.

“Claire is being discharged today.” She stated.

 “Well, it’s about time… She’s been nagging me for some months.” I would miss the little brat, though. She would draw me a picture almost every day.

“Do you think she’ll make it?”

I didn’t want to think the contrary. “She’s strong.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Hanji opened the door for me, and I entered the room filled with children. “Hello cuties!” Some of them ran toward us.

“Levi, I made you a drawing!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! It means the world to me to know that you're still there and waiting for my lazy ass to get her ideas sorted out ^^
> 
> Again, I'm really, really sorry this is late, but I'm having an existential crises, and struggling with tests and homework, and my mood swings, and mental issues and a lot of things are going on right now. I also got some doubts on my plot line, because I was really aware that my story is a series of cliches and it might get boring idk I JUST AM A MESS
> 
> Does anyone read this? 
> 
> Also, some notes on jobs:  
> Levi deals with sick children all day, and he is really gentle with them, and tried to comfort them as well as he can, which is difficult for him, who is shit with words... Hanji studied with Levi, but became a doctor. She and Levi often work together, as she deals with children too. 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	7. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no point in hiding because fate will always get to you. One day you're walking down from your classes and one big glass window caught your attention, and then, there is no turning back.  
> Fate played his card.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015: i changed the ending on this chapter because what i felt that was needed here was Levi knowing he was forgiven, mostly because he never did anything wrong. okay, thats it
> 
> Hello guys!
> 
> And, what is this? Did I just update? After more than a month??
> 
> I'm really sorry for this hugeeeee hiatus but I was stuck.  
> I'm not anymore!
> 
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy your reading!

**8th January**

I stared through the window at the room filled with children, some running around and others quietly playing together and trying to forget the pain of living. They had all reasons to give up, but still, with death just around the corner, they didn’t give up, they fought and won. They conquered a rightful place here.

He was in the middle of the room, surrounded by kids, smiling softly at a little girl holding a drawing. He wasn’t fazed by the constant running, laughter or dirtiness of them. He was happy in a way, but a cloud often passed through his face. It must have been hard to see so many of them close to death, and, perhaps, to notice quietly that someone was missing.   

This world is cruel, but also very beautiful

 “Levi really is something, isn’t he?” I flinched at his name. Hanji had approached me while I was lost in contemplation. She kept her eyes trailed on the center of the room.

I didn’t avert my gaze. “Yeah…” it was useless to deny I was watching him, she already knew. And she had known for some time, but Hanji gave me space. She was a lot more deep than what meets the eye, and she obviously cared a lot for him.

We stayed like that, silently watching the scene playing before us. It was a side of Levi that I didn’t know.

I didn’t know many things. And now, I wouldn’t know any of them. I could only watch the play, I had denied my role as a character already. A stupid mistake, I had come to realize. 

 I had ran home and I had been running for a long time now. But home is where your heart is.

And my heart was inside of that room filled with kids, surviving every day for their sake.

Someone bumped into the glass, dragging me from my thoughts, and I smiled at the boy rubbing his head. More than half of the kids on the room turned their heads to us. He blushed and waved a little at me, stumbling back to his friends.

“You know-” Hanji began. “-they love when new people visit them.” A little girl looked at me, smiled and waved.  

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea…” I whispered.

She grinned. “Nonsense.” Her tone was playful, but I could see her real intentions: trapping me and him inside, without any means of escape.

I panicked at that thought. “I have to get going. It was nice seeing you, Hanji.” I turned away slowly, but her voice glued me to the floor.

“You’re not the only one hurt, Eren.”

“I know.”

 Cowardice was not the word I would normally use to describe me, but I was a coward.

And even now, I was still too afraid to know if everything I longed for was lost. I longed for warmth that I didn’t know, but I knew who did the arms I dreamt of belong to. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, I wasn’t supposed to fall for a man that I barely knew and was probably the most exquisite one on this side of the Earth. 

“He misses you.” Hanji was closer. “He went out of his way to ask that blond kid if you were alright.” If he had, Armin hadn’t told me anything.

 _This was my choice_ , I thought,  _I have to bear with this_.

“I have to-”

I felt a tug on my shirt and spun around. The girl was by my side, smiling widely. “Hello!”

I mumbled a form of greeting.

She turned to Hanji. “Can we invite the cute boy for our party?”  

Hanji stared at her with confusion written all over her face, and then exploded on laughter. “Claire, you are a smart girl! I’m sure Eren will be delighted!” She pointed out, her voice having a trace of threat in it. I gulped.

“Will you come? Please” Claire pleaded me, and I couldn’t say no to her.

I sighed. “Alright.”

We entered the rom. Children voices filled my ears, and everything around me was a mess. Toys were splattered around us, crayons rolled through the floor, but all of it was as it should be. Claire guided us towards the center table, and sat down, indicating our chairs.

Slowly, I raised my head to his face. Levi’s gaze was fixed on mine, and I was speechless. Claire and Hanji talked, a blur of voices behind us, lost. This was a new level of awkward, I realized. 

“Where the hell have you been, brat?”

Claire gasped and I heard her murmur to Hanji. “Levi said a ugly word.”

I stiffed on my chair, mouth hanging open. “Is that really the first thing you’re going to say to me in months?”  Un-fucking-believable.

He glared at me, burning my soul with all the anger he had in his body for a moment, before looking away, and his eyes regained the same weight they had when I looked back, when my eyes were filled with tears. I felt a knife stabbing me in my chest.

“I deserve it. And I’m sorry.”

Levi glanced at me. “For what?”

I looked away too. The rest of the children were distracted with their toys and cartoons. I wanted this, I wanted to make it right again, to have him smile softly at me, and his warmth against me.  “Running away, and, uh, avoiding you.” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to elaborate. “For misjudging you and regretting the choices I made.” Hanji watched our whispered conversation carefully.

“Do you like cupcakes?” Claire pushed a tray in our direction. “The cook ladies made these for me. They are super nice, I’m going to miss them…” She pouted.

“Are you leaving?” I inquired, trying to pay attention to something that wasn’t  Levi.

Claire nodded. “I’m not sick anymore.”

“She’s being discharged today, her exams say that she is cancer free, but we’re still going to follow her. It was a long way.” Hanji explained.

 “Levi took good care of me, and he made me smile when I was sad.”  Claire smiled. “But he has been sad lately, so we’re having a party!” I swallowed my bile and faked a smile.

“Eh? Levi has been sad? Why didn’t you tell me anything, honey?” Hanji made an exaggerated mad face, and Claire shrugged.

“He said that the person he liked-”

“That’s enough.” Levi’s jaw was clenched, suppressing any emotions that could betray his face. I looked away, ashamed to know that my parting had made such an impact on his life.

 

I was going to make this right.

 

I opened my mouth, but was cut. “Do you have a girlfriend, Eren?” Claire batted her eyelashes at me.  

I flushed bright red, and any brave thoughts I was having were quick to run out of the room. “I don’t.”

Her eyes were amused. “Do girls not like you?”

Was I going to tell her why I didn’t have a girlfriend while I was painfully aware of Levi’s presence right next to me? In the end, it was his presence that made me answer. “They like me, but I don’t like girls…”

She smiled. “I don’t like girls either. Boys are much cuter than girls…” She bit her cupcake. “Then, do you have a boyfriend?” Hanji stared at me, and I could see Levi looking away, from the corner of my eye.

I looked down. “No.” 

Claire squealed. “Then you could be Levi’s boyfriend! He doesn’t have one too…”

“Wonderful idea, Claire!” Hanji shouted, her bewildered look back on her face. Levi was staring at both of them, too shocked to react.

I stared at Levi when I answered, his own words replaying in my head. “That can be arranged.”

He blushed slightly. “I haven’t forgiven you.”

I moved my hand, leaving my fingers hovering in top of his. “I know.” I recoiled my hand. “But I have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! It means the world to me to know that you're still there and waiting for new updates and supporting me and everything!
> 
> I had a lot of kudos and nice comments, i was really happy!
> 
> Again, I'm really, really sorry this is late. I had 3 weeks full of tests and then writing block came to my house and visited us for another two weeks... But I know now where i want this to go, so worry not.
> 
> This chapter only has 1300+ words, because it is kind of late here, and i still have a lot to write down, but, has i reached 1k followers on my blog OMFG, I vowed that I was going to update today, and here I am! Even after i closed the previous version of this chapter, that was PERFECT, WITHOUT SAVING IT HADKJDBHV and this version sucks massively...  
> If you desire to find me on tumblr, my blog is what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapter, the second part of this one, that will be updated shortly.
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the heart is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys!
> 
> I updated twice on the same month??  
> And here is the second part of that tiny tiny chapter I last posted.
> 
> This chapter is also dedicated to my dear Anela, [heichouslove](http://heichouslove.tumblr.com/)  
> And, as always, you can find me on my blog [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, do you know how many times I listened to "All Of You" to get on the mood? Leave your bets on the comments, let's make a contest! Winner, or person who gets closer, has the incredible prize of being able to dictate where the dorks will have their (kinda) first date!
> 
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy your reading!

**8th January**

I felt Levi stiff on his chair, but he looked more comfortable than when I first sat next to him, months ago. A spark of hope burnt in my chest.

I jumped on my chair when he spoke.

“I’m taking a break. Will you guys look after the brats?” Levi asked us, turning Hanji’s way.

She smiled brightly. “Of course, shorty!”

I could hear him growling at her as he walked away.

“So-” I turned my face to the woman wearing a mischievous look. “-are you going to follow him, or are you scared?”

“He-he said to watch over…”

She kept the slightly frightening smile on. “Oh dear, do you think I can’t handle these angels alone?” she petted Claire. “I’ve been dealing with the devil for years, this is like eating candy!”

“You should ask him out.” Claire added. “I would accept if you asked me…”

Hanji clapped. “Isn’t she precious? I’m so proud of her!” I was starting to get the idea that she had something to do with the child’s enthusiasm. “Talk to him, he needs to know what is going on. No, he  _deserves_  to know what is going on there.” She pointed to my forehead.

 It was easy, just explain things and start over.

 I got up and followed Levi’s path. The hospital was as crowded as ever, sick people moaning and mourning. It made me wonder if I could work every day on a place like this. The prospect of seeing smiles on the faces that had known only suffering was what made me certain of what I wanted, in the past. Today, the prospect of seeing his face every day warmed me, the whispers and the touches exchanged in secret between us and the thrill of filling an empty room with our heat-

 

I changed the dangerous course my thoughts were going. Bad brain.

Levi was nowhere to be seen. I went outside, but he wasn’t having a smoke break.

“Uh, excuse me, do you know where Levi is?” I asked a nurse. The guy looked middle age, contrasting with his youthful face.

He glanced at me. “Why do you want to-” I stared dumbfounded as the man bit his tongue and chocked on it. I was still staring when a young woman answered my question.

“Uh, sorry?”

“Auruo meant that Levi went downstairs.” She smiled. “I’m Petra and you must be Eren.” Petra took my hand. “Hanji told me a lot about you, and he sighed a lot about you too…  My guess is that he is hiding at the morgue, but maybe you had figured that out already. He is just a big hopeless romantic in the end…” She giggled.

 

 

 

“Why are you back here?”

I saw him sitting on the cold table, his back turned away from me, smoking again because the dead didn’t mind. “I was feeling inspired.” He chuckled. 

“What?”

“It’s just that I find it funny.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. “What?”

He stretched the pregnant pause hanging above us. “The irony. I’ve never felt so alive like I did today in this morgue.”

My eyebrows reached their furrowing limit. I spent some time deciphering his words, because there was no way in Earth those could have left his mouth.

“You really are a hopeless romantic…”

“Shut the fuck up, Jaeger.”

I smiled. I had got some recognition from him.

Explain things and start over.

I cleared my throat. “Levi, I-”

“You’re sorry, I know.”

I started again. “I made a mistake, a stupid decision that I was too afraid to admit. I took your words and I-”

“You assumed I thought you were a mistake I made.” He cut my sentence again.

“- I assumed that you regretted _me_ , yes, and I ran away because I couldn’t face-”

“You couldn’t face the weight of my rejection, right?”

“Will you please stop interrupting?!” I snapped. “You’re making this ‘explaining and starting over’ thing a whole fucking lot more complicated, you know?” I cocked my hips. It would be a lot funnier if he was looking at me because he was losing my entire diva tantrum by standing with his back to me.

He didn’t show any signs of interrupting me again, so I continued. “I couldn’t face the possibility that you had rejected me, because I grew so attached to you and I didn’t mean it to happen. You were supposed to just be this guy I met on this morgue, a guy with weird behavior, but you became so much more.”

“And the thing is, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’m 21 years old and yet I have no idea of what love is, or how relationships work. I can’t distinguish passion from love, or even attraction.” I paused, gathering my thoughts, took a deep breath and moved closer to the center of the room. “But I know now that this isn’t simply attraction. Whatever I feel about you is stronger than simple attraction because I’ve spent the last months thinking about you and all the things I done wrong-“

“It wasn’t that many things.” He replied. “Besides, I was the one that hurt you.” He whispered. “I saw the pain on your eyes and it reminded me every day that I was the one that put it there. Even my subconscious reminded me of that.”

“Uh?”

He leaned backwards. “I dreamt about you crying, I tried to comfort you and you vanished through my fingers.”

My mouth had no filter anymore. “You were in my dreams too. Fuck, you are a dream to me.” I rubbed my head and laughed nervously. “That sounded better on my head.”

“I’m sure it did.” I heard amusement on his voice.

I sighed. “Stop interrupting me, I was going somewhere before you talked.” I reached the table. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you and what happened on your birthday and I’ve come to a conclusion.”

He shuffled around his seat, and I gave him some space.

Well, until I heard a loud noise and I saw his tiny body crashing face first into the floor and a string of curses rushing through his mouth and putting to shame every sailor on the vicinity.

“Levi?!”

“Fucking Christ, I am never again chain smoking-”

I ran up to his side. “Oh my God, are you okay?”

He looked at me. “Do you think I’m okay?! I just fucking fell from a table, I’m not fucking okay!”

“Are you hurt? I touched his arm, cautiously. “Where does it hurt?”

I received a cold glare from him. “On my pride, brat.”

 

I gave up on life and sat on the floor, feeling utterly terrified of a joke. Was I allowed to laugh?

“Did- Did you just-” I couldn’t finish my sentence, since I erupted into laughter, clutching my sides.

Levi watched me with a small smile on his face, and helped me getting up again. “Don’t tell Hanji I fell from the table. She’s the one supposed to be a hazard to public health.”

“I can’t make any promises…”

“You wouldn’t.” Levi gave me the evil eye. “Forget that, you totally would.”

I agreed silently with him, and silence continued to fill the room. He was the one to break it.

“You never told me what your big conclusion was.”

I gulped and felt a cold sweat on my back.

His eyebrow shot up, annoyance written on Levi’s face. “Are you going to tell me or not?”  

 I sat down.

 “Well, I like you, Levi. I don’t like you like I like Armin or Mikasa. Maybe the way Armin likes books” I added. “Wait, no, I’m sure he doesn’t want to nail his books…” I trailed of when I caught Levi staring at me rambling.

“Eren, you’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Uh?”

“I guess you don’t…” Levi caught my face in his hands, tilting it so he could reach my mouth, and pressed his lips to mine. I stared as he closed his eyes and guided me into the kiss, until I got the idea and closed mine, finally hugging his waist.

Home is where the heart is.

I’ve never felt as if I belonged somewhere as I did in his arms. I’ve never knew what home was until I burst into those open doors that lead directly to his heart, I hopped.

He pulled away from me and I felt cold without his touch.

“Why did I fell for an idiot like you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! 
> 
> I had a lot of kudos and some interesting comments of people questioning me about my fic, I was so happy guys!  
> I also hit the 1k followers on tumblr, which left me beaming on my spot and I wanna thank all of you that spend the time to check it out <3 And if you don't it already, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/)
> 
>    
> I am also sorry that this chapter is late, and for any typos that there might be and if it doesn't make sense at all, i just wrote it and published it, maybe i'll proof read it later
> 
> Oh, did you notice that I learned how to insert links??? 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	9. Cell Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You should never let Hanji get your phone, it will ruin your day and, at the same time, make it so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 27TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys!
> 
> Sorry for being late again, I have been busy and lacking inspiration...  
> But i found her meddling on the streets the other day, so here is a new chapter for you!  
> What I didn't find was a decent summary... 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy your reading!

**February**

I felt my cellphone vibrate on my pocket and smirked. The brat was already up. It was surprising that he was able to properly typing before 10am, considering we were up talking until only god knows when. We were great in the past week and a half, but I was getting restless, and I didn’t feel like sitting around for any longer. I pulled out the electronic device.

**“how can u wake up every day at 7?”**

I let my lips curl into a tiny smile. “ **Some people have jobs, unlike you.”**

I felt Petra gawking at me and glared at her. “What?”

“Nothing.” She coughed. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you smile that much. Or typing.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t fucking smiling.”

She let a disappointed look appear on her face. “No swearing here, chief. I have to say though, being in love doesn’t look bad on you.”

I scoffed and turned my back to her. “Please, I’m not in love.”

“Whatever you say, Levi.” She walked away, swaying her hips to make sure I knew she was being a sassy little nurse on purpose. I hummed, replaying the words on my head, dismissing them almost immediately. I would dwell on them later.

**“i have classes tho. and it’s ur fault i’m so tired”**

I had fallen asleep in the middle of our texting, only replaying his messages when I woke up later, succeeding in waking the brat up. Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep much after that, and it was surprisingly welcome to have someone awake with me. Eren definitely wasn’t contributing to regularize my erratic sleeping patterns.

 **“Guilty as charged.”**  I typed. I could see Hanji glancing at me, trying to be as discreet as she could. I returned my attention to the screen in front of me, but it was taken away.

Hanji hold the phone above her head, away from my reach. “Texting isn’t allowed during office hours!” She flipped the phone and began fumbling with it. I jumped and tried to take it away, but she only held it higher.

“Hanji.” I fixed her my coldest glare. “Give me the damn thing back.”

She grinned at me. “Not in a lifetime, midget.” And took off, leaving me staring at the space she used to occupy.

 

I found her doing her job. I tried burn holes into her head, but she had the balls to just grin at me and waving me off, shaking her head. Of course one of the brats crashed into me at that precise moment and I shouted at him. 

“Be nice to them, Levi. You never know when you might need your parenting skills…” She handed me the phone.

I cringed. “That’s gross, four eyes.”

“I didn’t mean sex, you pervert.” The ones closer to us gasped in unison. “Oh, sorry, fellas! Seriously, be nicer and I might reward you!”

I raised my eyebrow at her. “In case you didn’t notice-” I lowered my voice. “-I’m gay. Not that it would matter to you, but I’m not interested on those rewards.”

“Gross, Levi, I’d never do that with you.”

“Okay, now tell what did you do?” I hissed.

“Relax dear, I only read your texts. I think I have diabetes from all the sweetness …”

“Oh, fuck off, Hanji.” Three kids stared at me, shocked. “Sorry guys, I forgot it was a bad word.” They nodded and I relaxed, turning to the woman in front of me, a threatening look on my face. “We’re not that lame.”

She blinked at me one, two, three, four times before bending over and breaking into laughter. “You-” She cackled again. “-guys aren’t-” I watched at her in disbelief. “-lame!” She laughed for some more minutes, and then composed herself, and looked at my eyes, seriously. “You sent each other hearts, Levi.”

I stormed off the room.

 _“You have a date tonight!”_  was the last thing I heard from Hanji’s mouth. 

 

I sat on the outside of the hospital’s building, surrounded by white smoke spiraling upwards.

Of course that Hanji started with the sexual innuendos as soon as she had my phone on her hands, and of course that I was going to make her suffer. I had already cracked a knuckle from the strength I was using to hold the damn device.

**“i dont mind being awake late, 3am talks r interesting”**

I cringed at the  _r_.

 **“There are things far more interesting at 3am.”**  I thanked the heavens that Hanji had used proper spelling and punctuation, and cursed her for her line of thought.

**“i believe i know what ur thinking about…”**

I rolled my eyes so far I thought they weren’t going to be back in place.

**“You’re ten years away from knowing that.”**

**“maybe u could teach me”**

I raised my eyebrow and sucked on my cigarette. She was going to give me early lung cancer.

**“I could, but I don’t do free classes.”**

Definitely going to kill her.

**“we can discuss prices sometime”**

I flayed my arms around and fought my erratic beating, and maybe also a light blush making its way to my face.

**“Tonight seems like a good time.”**

Fuck you, Hanji.

**“WAT??!”**

WHAT?

 **“I don’t mean it sexually.”**  Thank you, Hanji, for preserving the little sanity I still had left.  **“I want to take you out.”**

**“oh. as in a date?”**

I smiled at his choice of words. Hanji had also done a great job acting as me, and I was conflicted between kicking her on the butt or kissing her.

I noticed that was the end of the messages, she hadn’t answered any further. I tapped on the screen to open the keyboard.

**“Whatever you call it nowadays. I’ll pick you up at 8pm. Wear something nice.”**

 “Oi, Hanji.” The bewildered woman turned around at the sound of her name, succeeding in tripping on her feet, panick flashing through the eyes behind her glasses.

“Hey, Levi-”

“Who gave you the right to text people on my behalf?”

She took a step backwards. “Okay, calm down, let me explain the situation-”

“I don’t want to fucking hear it, I have seven hours to come up with something for tonight!”

The look on her face was pure panic. She must have thought that I was going to kill her.

“I came here to ask you something.” I couldn’t deny that I was still pissed off, but I had far more important questions right now.

“What do people do on dates?”

“WHAT?”

“You heard me.” I furrowed my eyebrows and paid attention to a stain on Hanji’s coat. “Where should I take Eren out?”

She gasped. “You’re asking me?!” Her face turned into a smirk. “Could it be that your love life is so dead that you have to ask me, your dearest friend, married to her work, for tips?!”

I groaned, rubbing my face. How was I standing so low? And I wasn’t referring to my height. “Cut the crap, four eyes. This is your fault.”

“Yes, it is, but you know I’m not the right person to ask for dating tips.”Hanji laughed nervously. “I helped you out, you should be thankful, you know? And maybe, I don’t know Levi, stop with those comments!” She hooked a arm around my head. “Besides, if you play your cards right tonight, you might actually get some!”

A couple of people stopped on their tracks to stare at us.

“For fuck’s sake, Hanji, keep it down! I don’t want the whole hospital to know how pathetic I am at this…”

“Aw, you finally admitted it!”

I groaned. “Hanji, I swear to God that someday I’m going to punch you…”

She grinned and I boiled.

“Are you going to fucking help me or not?”

“Alright, midget-” She placed her hands on her hips, smiling. “Let’s plan the perfect date!”

 

* * *

 

 

The black board was full of my teacher’s scribbles, and I couldn’t care less that I hadn’t heard a single word of what he’d said. I was sure that Armin could explain me this stuff better than the old nipple could. Next to me, Jean fidgeted on his chair for the millionth time.

“Could you fucking stop doing that?”

I turned to him, ready to flip him off. “Fucking do what?”

He grimaced. “Smiling. It’s fucking creepy seeing you do that every five minutes.”

“Fuck off, horse face. I wasn’t smiling.” I noticed the teacher giving us the evil eye, and I returned to my previous position.

I started doodling scary looking giants on my page.

“So, are you getting laid tonight, Jaeger? Is that why you’re smiling every time you see your phone?” I blushed furiously and doodled with more intensity. Jean could try to rile me up, but I knew his secret. I could use it anytime.

Jean’s mouth fell open. “Holy shit, you really are!” 

I turned to him. “Will you please shut up? It’s none of your damn business what I do or do not. Especially what I do privately… ”

He scoffed. “You drooling over your messages wasn’t very private.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You were. I could smell the  _hoemones_  from here.” Yeah, like he himself wasn’t thirsting over a mystery guy that “only” Armin knew.

I chuckled. “Are you sure it wasn’t the smell of manure coming from you?”

Jean gave me the finger, and in that moment, when the teacher stopped talking for the class, I knew we were both fucked.

“You two boys up there,” I looked back to the teacher, wide-eyed. “-yes you with thee weird hair and your friend, please do us the favour of leaving the class.”

Jean and I stared at him dumbfounded.

“We’re waiting, ladies.” 

 

 

 Mikasa came to my room when I was getting dressed.

“Are you going out?”

I picked up a new shirt. “Yep.”

“With Levi?” There was a hint of concern on her voice. I knew she cared deeply for me, but she knew too that I was sure of this for once. She was the one that reasoned with me when I was avoiding Levi like the plague.

I put the shirt on front of me and tried to combine it with a tie. “Yes.”

She walked up to me and grabbed the tie. “Drop it, you’ll look like an idiot trying too much.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Have you met me?”

She smoothed my hair and stepped back. “Yes, and you’re a beautiful man, Eren, don’t be nervous about it.”

“God, don’t make it gay, Mikasa.” I chuckled, shaking my head.

“I’ll leave that to you.” Mikasa turned to my wardrobe and fumbled with it for a moment, throwing some shirts and a pair of black pants behind her back. “Try those.” She waited.

 I raised an eyebrow. “A little privacy, please?”

“Eren, I’ve seen you naked, and I walked in you masturbating-”

“MIKASA!”

“-I can deal with you just in your underwear.”

“Fine, do as you please.” I wiggled my way into the pants and put on the first shirt. I was a plain light blue one, nothing special. I hadn’t worn it in so much time that I had actually forgot it existed. Mikasa motioned me to try the second, and sat on my desk chair. Then to try the other, and the other, and the next six shirts she found.

“It’s no good, I liked the first one better.”  She concluded, rising from her spot, casually looking out of the window. “Oh, there’s someone at the door.”

“Can you-” I pulled my shirt off. “-get that? I’m kinda busy here…”

“Alright, but hurry up, moron, it’s almost 8. You don’t want to be late for your hot date…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! 
> 
> Note:  
> Mikasa's relationship with her brother is a very fluid one on the fandom. On my mind, she is a concerned sister that loves him to death. Yes, she is motherly and protective, but she is not over-protective, or tries to tell how Eren should live or anything. They get along as best friends, joke around, and Eren tells her some of his problems and she does the same. Here, she is fully aware of Levi and their shared story, she helped Eren to cope with the not-so-much rejection, and while she isn't sure if she approves Levi, she also doesn't oppose. She is waiting for meeting him. 
> 
> Again, I am sorry that this chapter is late, and for any typos that there might be and if it doesn't make sense at all...  
> And thank you for all the kudos and support you gave me, it's because of you I haven't gave up on this idea.  
> As a curiosity, I described my story as "a tale of dorks, written by a bigger dork, who tries to sound funny but fails, that lost her plot line along the way, does lots of cliche scenes and tries to be poetic but ends up failing" and Anela described my stories as "lovely stories about dorks written by a fancy dork who loves coffee shop au's" so THANK YOU AND ALL OF YOU THAT THINK LIKE THIS.
> 
> If you don't know my blog, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	10. Restaurant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 27TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys!
> 
> After more than a month, I am updating! I'm so sorry for this though, but the good news are that i'm finally on holidays, so the story will happen more quickly! 
> 
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy your reading!

**Same day, February**

I stood in front of the Jaeger’s house, one hand reaching up awkwardly, retreating at the last second. I was slightly early anyway, I could take some sweet time to prepare myself mentally.

I checked my clothes again for a stain that didn’t exist. I had chosen a simple attire for the evening: a black suit with a white shirt, lacking a tie because I felt too formal and I hated the feeling too hot. Besides, I could open a button or two, or three, if I was feeling generous.  _Dress to impress_ , Hanji had told me.

I was caught in my egocentric thoughts when the door burst out open.

“Who are you?”

My mouth fell open and I brought my hands down. The black haired girl followed the motion, a quizzical look on her face.

I cleared my voice twice before speaking. “My name is Levi.”

She glanced at my left hand. “Why do you have those?”

I ignored her and  tried to keep what little pride I had by now. “I was looking for Eren. Eren Jaeger?”

She didn’t buy it. “That wasn’t my question.”

“Uhm, these are for him.”

Her eyes scanned me and she nodded. “Was it the first one you saw, or you chose it?”

I clenched my teeth. “I chose them.”

She was going to answer me when she was interrupted.

“Who is it, Mikasa?” Eren marched to the door, peering over the girl’s shoulder. “Levi! You’re early…”

I glanced at him. “I was bored at home.” I lied.

He rubbed the back of his head and I followed the trace of his arm. “Sorry… Uh, I see that you’ve met Mikasa.” He motioned to girl barricading the door.

“I’ve had the pleasure.”

She nodded. “Yes.”

Eren fidgeted on his place. “you can get in if you want, but I’m ready to go.”

“I made reservations, they are probably waiting for us.” How was he buying it, I didn’t know. I was about half an hour early.

Even though, he blushed and smiled at me. “Okay, I’ll get my wallet.”

I was left with Mikasa, who seemed determined to play the “protective father” role.

“Don’t hurt him.”

I nodded. “I won’t”

She held my gaze. “If you do, I’ll hunt you down and skin you alive.”

I flinched. “Then I’ll do my best to make him the happiest man on Earth.”

Mikasa smiled for the first time. “I trust you to. After all you chose thorn less roses.”

“Is that important?” I asked, confused. It was true I had chosen the flowers, blame Hanji for her crazy ideas, and me, for going with them. I simply had chosen the ones that reminded me of Eren the most.

“Not really. Treat him well.” She dismissed me and disappeared into the house, leaving the door open. I took it as an invitation and stepped inside, closing the door behind me.

 

Eren’s house was cozy, and surprisingly tidy, with two brats living here. I scanned the living room, noticing how the shelves were filled with family portraits and numerous photos of Eren, Mikasa and that blond boy I saw at the hospital. There was one of Eren, toothless and crying, standing in the middle of this room, some years ago. Mikasa only showed up after that photo, smiling softly at the camera.

I moved closer, inspecting the middle one. Eren had puffy cheeks and big round eyes, glistening brightly as he smiled, one arm hooked around a woman.  She had the same green eyes as Eren, and dark brown hair tidied on a side pigtail. She looked tired, but happy, smiling with Eren for the photo.

I realised I didn’t have one single photograph of my mom.

“Oh god, please don’t look at those.”  Eren rushed in and blocked my view.

I stared at him. “Why?”

“I wasn’t always this handsome.” He winked at me and turned me around. “Anyway, weren’t we late?”

I sighed. “Not really.”

“You said we were.”

“I was feeling slightly uncomfortable with that girl burning holes into my head.”

Eren laughed and turned to me. “Oh please, my sister isn’t that scary.”

My eyes widened. “That’s your sister?” He nodded. “You don’t look alike at all.”

He looked at me. “Yeah, you’re right, if anything she looks a lot more like your sister instead of mine.” He finished. “She is adopted. I was nine years old when she became my sister, and we’ve been together ever since.”

I glanced at the pictures, noting how Eren looked around that age on the early photos of him with Mikasa.

“Shall we go?” He opened the door.

I circled him but stopped on my track.

“These are for you.”

Eren’s eyes widened. The idiot hadn’t noticed me holding these the entire time. What an idiot. An adorable idiot managing to look both formal and casual. I had to admit, Eren could pull on a suit.

“You look good on a suit.” I muttered, horrified that the words left my mouth. Thank all the gods in heaven that he didn’t notice that.

He took the roses from my hand, smelled them, and smiled at me. “Thank you.”

Fuck, I am too old for this dating shit.

And fuck Hanji for her ideas, she must be planning my death secretly.

Eren giggled. “You’re blushing, Levi.”

I smacked his head. “Shut up, they’re waiting for us.”

 

 “Oh, it’s not a fast food place.”

I raised one eyebrow and stared at Eren. “You thought I was having dinner with you at a fast food place?”

I parked the car near the entrance, the light from the restaurant momentarily blinding me. “I always go to fast food places. But you’re old, of course you wouldn’t want to go to one.” He smirked at me.

“You’re the one who wanted to date this old man.” He blushed and opened the car’s door, while I smiled at his back.  _That’s what you get for being a teasing brat._

I found the waiter inside looking confused at Eren.

“Name, please?”

“I’m Eren, nice to meet you!” He extended his arm to shake the poor man’s hand and I lost it.

“Levi, don’t laugh at me!”

The waiter looked back and forth between me and the idiot standing beside me. “Oh my God, Eren, how clueless can you be?” He pouted. “I made a reservation under the name ‘Levi’.”

The man looked at his list and nodded. “This way sir Levi and- ” He raised an eyebrow. “-Eren?”

We were taken to our table and I heard Eren whisper. “I am never coming to this place again.” I scoffed, and he looked at me, horrified.

We were sat on a table by the window. It was early, so the restaurant was quiet and the servants moved lazily through the tables, writing down our requests and coming back half an hour later. Normally, this would have pissed me off monumentally, and I would tell them to tell Mike to move his ass and bring my food.

Not today though. Today I took the time to notice how the yellow light made Eren’s eyes appear golden, and how he would flinch every time he caught me looking. I was starting to pity him, to be honest.

“Why were you crying on that picture?” I asked, mostly to break the silence between us.

He averted his eyes from the menu. “Which picture?”

“The one where you’re missing a tooth.”

I watched him rub his face and sigh. “I didn’t know that teeth grew back”

I stared.

“My mom took that picture when my first tooth fell. I had come running from the kitchen, crying because I didn’t want to be toothless like my gran.” He looked upset. “My parents just looked at each other and laughed, while I was freaking out because a tooth had just fallen off and they were acting like it wasn’t a big deal!”

I smirked. “At least no one punched you. That’s how mine fell.”

Eren stared at me for a moment before scoffing. “No way, you’re not that cool.”

A waiter came to our table, with a tray and our drinks, urging us to make a decision.

“You’re having the usual, Levi.” I nodded.

“What about you, sir?”

Eren glanced at me, completely lost. “Uh, I’ll have the same.” He said.

The waiter left and I took a sip of wine. Eren was visibly nervous, even though he thought he wasn’t obvious about that fact. I had no idea where to take him after this, but, for now, this was enough.

He broke the silence.

“You look good on a suit, too.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I do?”

He nodded. “Yes. I’m not used to see you dressed so formally, since you go around the hospital in your scrubs.” He rubbed his head. “Not that I mind seeing you in your scrubs, it’s just, uh, the suit suits you.”

“The suit suits me.” I repeated. “it’s also refreshing seeing you in anything that isn’t jeans and the first t-shirt you find in the morning.”

“It’s not the first I find!”

I leaned in. “So, is it the most clean one?”

The top of his ears started to turn red.

“Am I right, Eren?”

He glanced at me. “Shut up.”

I chuckled and Eren looked at me. He started playing with the silverware and glanced around. The restaurant was more agitated now, with a lot of tables occupied and costumers waiting for their food.

“I have no idea of what I’m doing, Levi.”

“Neither do I.” I took his hand and squeezed it softly. “But I’m trying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> Uh, as a note, Mike is the cook on the restaurant.
> 
> Again, I am sorry that this chapter is late, and for any typos that there might be and if it doesn't make sense at all...  
> Also, I noticed on Tumblr that my fic was listed on some Rec Lists and I was so happy! this is one of the reasons I haven't abandoned this story, the thought has crossed my mind a lot of times, but every time I'm about to say "I'm closing this one" you keep commenting, giving me kudos, listing me and being really supportive.  
> So I want to apologize for being a shitty author that is a bit lost here. 
> 
> If you don't know my blog, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	11. Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In your life you have to accept the fact that pain is a necessity for one to grow and experience new things. Not that it was news to Levi. But the pain was there anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 27TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys!
> 
> It hasn't been a month and i'm updating, which is news ^^  
> I'd actually have updated sooner if i wasn't so unsure of this chapter...
> 
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy your reading!

**On that night, February**

Levi ate silently, cutting his food on small bites, precisely and clean. Then he would drink some of his wine and he would raise his pinky, the same way he did when he raised his cup.

It was endearing.

I stared for too long and he looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

“Find something amusing, Jaeger?”

I blushed and brought my eyes down, staring at my food. “Why do you ask that?”

“You are grinning like an idiot.”

“I’m happy.” I said. He didn’t answer.

We finished our meal silently and someone collected our plates, leaving a dessert menu instead. I stared blankly at the names until I discovered what seemed to be a complicated name for a chocolate ice cream, which was easier than the rest to pronounce, and decided I’d be having that. Not because I couldn’t read the rest of the names, of course.

“What will you have, sir?”

Levi folded the menu. “I’ll have the crème brûlée, not burnt and sprinkled with cinnamon.”

I had no idea what that was. The waiter turned to me. “You, sir?”

“Uh, I’ll have the, uh, _glass_ au chocolate?”

I heard Levi scoff and gave him a glare. It wasn’t my fault I never learnt French. Besides, why are the desserts written in French, common people like me can’t read French and will end up making a terrible impression on their dates.

“Your French is shit.”

“I know.”

Levi didn’t get the idea. “It sucks miserably.”

I groaned. “I know!”

He eyed me curiously. “It’s like your tongue has limited movements and you can’t talk properly.”

I leaned in and dropped my voice a notch lower, and capturing his hand . “I can assure you my tongue can do all sorts of movements.”

He stared at me for a moment before smirking.

A tall cup was placed in front of me and Levi’s dessert was placed in front of him.

“Merci beaucoup. La crème brûlée est parfait.” Levi smiled politely to the waiter, while I stared, amazed with how easily the words slipped off his mouth. It was kind of… sexy.

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I found out I like French...” I answered.

“Eat your ice cream, kid.”

 

The cleanness interior of Levi’s car was a welcome distraction from the rising burn of my cheeks. I had texted Mikasa saying that I probably wouldn’t sleep at home. The only thing left to do was to let Levi know about this, a major flaw in my “getting laid by Levi” plan.

“Uh.”

He started the car. “Yes?”

“I-I don’t want to go home yet.” I turned expectantly to him.

He didn’t react, instead fiddling with the control panel. “Do you have any place in mind you want to go?”

Struck by a sudden ray of glowing inspiration, I held Levi’s hand and wiggled my eyebrows, ignoring the way my face was burning, because I was certain that if I noticed, that would make my courage waver. And I was pretty sure I looked like an idiot. “You could show me your house.”  

I could see him struggling to not give away his amusement. “You’ve been there.”

I retracted my hand and played with my hair.  _I don’t remember this being so difficult_. “I was hoping I could see it in a new light?”

Levi hummed. “Well, I’ve taken the Christmas tree down.”

The pressure building inside me vanished and I laughed. “Can’t wait to meet the corner of your living room.”

 

 

It smelled clean. As in,  _‘I’m sure he spent all afternoon cleaning’_ clean.

“So-” Levi started. “-what do you think?”

“It’s still very neat.”

“Is that an euphemism for ‘too tidy’?” He didn’t sound angry.

I crossed the place, and stood next to him, smiling. His body went rigid but started melting against me, and his gaze burned me with affection.

“Absolutely not.”

I closed the space between us, angling my head. Levi followed my body, adjusting, and our lips found a comfortable rhythm, exploring each other. His hands found their way to my waist and he tugged me closer.

We parted, not quite breathless yet, but already in sync.

“Eren-”

I stopped. “Is this okay?”

He seemed thoughtful and I was starting to look for a place to hide for the rest of my life when he grabbed my waist and pulled me against him.

“More than okay.”

I kissed him again, this time desperately for something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I laughed mentally at that, but it only came out as a breathy moan. I snaked my arms downwards and pulled Levi towards me, which I didn’t know it was still possible, considering how I was practically on top of him, and lost myself on his warmth.  He parted his lips and I-

“Fuck, Eren, what was that for?!”

I looked at him confused. “What?”

Levi glared daggers at me. “Are you serious? You bit my fucking tongue!”

“I-” He was still staring. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

He cut me off, laughter filling the room. I felt too shocked to react.

“You’re such an idiot…”

I also started laughing, nervously at first. When I was calm and he was no longer snorting, I hugged him and rested my head on his shoulder and wiggled my ass. “But you have to admit I’m a sexy idiot.”

Levi hummed. “You do have a nice ass.”

There was something hypnotic on the way his muscles moved beneath my hands, or the way his pale skin allowed me to see his veins, blood flowing rapidly and how soft his skin looked like.

I dragged my teeth on the skin of his neck.

“Eren-” He moaned, the low sound growing on his throat. “-do you want me to show you into my room?”

I raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “That sounds like a bad porn line.”

“It is.”

“Oh.”

 

 

I don’t know when we stumbled into Levi’s room, I didn’t even notice moving from the living room, but I do remember being lost in strong arms, securing me against him, and the hands holding me as they belonged there, reading and mapping my body. There was nothing I could compare the sensation of being his to, and I didn’t exactly care that I couldn’t describe perfectly all that I was feeling.

I remember the back of my knees hitting the side of his bed, while I fisted my hands on his shirt and pulled him down with me. We broke our heated kiss in order to get some needed oxygen and I rambled nervously.

“That was surprisingly smooth for me.”

Levi snorted. “Why do you sound so surprised by that?”

I couldn’t exactly be more flushed than I already was, considering the situation, but Fate or whatever entity that rules this pathetic world where I live, was definitely trying to test my limits.

“Because it’s not like I have lots of experience on this sort of thing.”

Confusion filled his face. “Is that even a problem?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

He held my face, turning it to him. “Why are you embarrassed by that? You probably have more experience than I did when I was your age.” 

“Really?”

He raised an eyebrow. “What? Did you think I was some kind of sex machine?”

I stared down at him, praising his body mentally. I nodded and Levi sighed.

“I didn’t. Or don’t, for all that matters.” He stopped, thinking. “I actually had to go buy condoms and lubricant because the ones I had were expired.”

I made a face and cringed internally. “Please don’t call it that, you sound like the neighbor who’s into cars.”

“Says the one who named his car ‘Molly’.”

“That- ahh- that’s different.”Levi pushed me back, straddling me and traced my jaw, leaving kisses all the way down. I was quickly reduced to a shuddering mess under him, his hips rocking against mine, building a rhythm that left both of us panting.

“It’s, uh, getting hot in h-here.”

Levi stopped moving and forced me to look at him. “Are you nervous, Eren?”

I looked at his face, noticing the faint trace of sweat and the burning desire of his eyes. “Yes.” I admitted. In my defense, I think that anybody would be nervous when having sex with the person they liked for the first time. Then again, sex isn’t rocket science. “But I want this, and I trust you.”

Levi smiled. “Thank you.”

I pulled him and kissed him, slowly, dragging my lips on his.

 

* * *

 

 

 **The next day, February**  

I opened my eyes and tried to get my thoughts in order. I fidgeted around for a little, immediately regretting my life choices.

My body felt sore in places I had forgotten that existed.

Dark places.

_If Hanji knows about this, I’ll never hear the end of it._

I sighed and turned to the other side, where Eren was still peacefully asleep.

He slept all curled up on a ball, when he wasn’t violently cuddling me. His hair was a mess, and the marks I left on his neck were starting to turn into an angry violet colour. I smirked. He was going to have a lot of explaining to do today. I couldn’t say a lot though, my back was full of scratches and bite marks.

I didn’t even notice that until he pointed it, before passing out.

I brushed the hair off his face, and pressed my lips against his forehead. He stirred a little and hurried closer to my side.

I still didn’t know what had Eren seen that made he want to be with me, but I was happy he had chosen me. Here I was, in my thirties and absolutely enraptured with a man who still ate chocolate ice cream with the same passion as a five year old did. I surely had come a long way.

A loud noise disturbed my thoughts and I looked around trying to make out what the hell that was because I was going deaf.

Eren moved so fast I thought he might have snapped some vertebrae.

“Shut up, stupid phone.” He was kneeling on the floor, looking for the rest of his clothes, which were pretty much scrambled all over the place. I hadn’t been exactly concerned about the mess at the time.

I watched, amused, and pointed to my side. “Your pants are over here.”

He just looked at me, lost, before bending to search for the noisy device.  

“Hello?” Eren stood on the middle of my bedroom, naked as the day he was born. I bit my tongue to help myself back from making any remarks. Not that they would be negative ones.

“What do you mean? We don’t have classes at Saturday, Armin.”

“TODAY IS FRIDAY?”  Eren glanced at me, his eyes searching for an explanation. I shrugged. I couldn’t blame Eren for forgetting what day today was. I also forgot who I was for a few moments yesterday.

 “No, I’ll show up for the next class.” The clock stated it was half part nine. I had traded shifts with Erd, so I had my bases covered, unlike the idiot still standing bare on this glorious morning.

“I’ll explain later, okay?”  He didn’t look radiant about having to explain whatever it was.

 “Fine.” A pause.

 “Bye, Armin.” He ended the call and turned to me, scratching the back of his head.

 I raised an eyebrow. “Now, that’s a nice view.”

Eren looked down, only realizing now that he was giving me a free show.

“Shut up, this is your fault.” He pouted.  “Who does even plan dates on a Thursday?”

I patted the seat next to me. “How can I make it up to you?”

I’m not going to lie, watching Eren like this was doing wonders for my dick. It felt like I was twenty again.

“You can drive me back.” He was debating internally. I threw the covers away, revealing the rest of my body. “I should go. I have classes…”

I might be old, but I’m not blind yet. I could see how he was absorbing the sight of me, as naked as he was.

“Well, I could really use shower.” I flinched and got up. Eren’s eyes practically jumped out of the sockets when I kissed him. “You’re welcome to join me.”

I calmly walked to the bathroom, knowing his resolve wouldn’t last long.

I smirked when his muted voice reached me.

“I’ll just ask Armin for the notes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> As a note: Hanji found out Levi bottomed and everyone in Eren's class noticed the five obvious hickeys he had. 
> 
> The reason why this chapter took me so long to write is because I'm not comfortable with writing smut. In fact, I don't think what i wrote was that good. I was really going with the idea of a full explicit scene, but when it came down to write, I couldn't. So, after i put some thought in it, and after rambling about this problem with some friends, I decided to just, do what I always do: write and do my best.  
> So this is why this chapter is a smut-but-not-that-much one. 
> 
> Also, I noticed on Tumblr that my fic was listed on some Rec Lists (shoutout to pickletea-senpai) and that makes me want to give this story a proper end, which might happen soon. 
> 
> If you don't know my blog, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/) and I am also tracking the #claralikesfood tag. 
> 
> Leave comments so I feel pressured to write a new chapter. I'm not kidding. 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	12. Comments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 27TH JULY 2015  
> Hello guys!
> 
> And Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  
> As promised, here is a Christmas chapter to keep you guys warm~  
> It's not much, pretty rushed tbh, but it introduces some curious things...
> 
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy your reading!

It was a slow day at the hospital, but I guess that’s a good thing for everyone. Everyone except me.

Hanji has been trying to corner me I make since I checked in this morning, following every move I made. And for those who don’t know her, this could be passed off as a curious friend, but not her. She’s excepting a full report of my night (and day, for what it matters) with Eren, all the explicit details included.

I wasn’t thrilled about lunch time.

In fact, I wasn’t thrilled about anything today. Hanji’s staring and Petra’s knowing smiles were throwing me out of the edge.

“Do I have a face that says I love people commenting about me?” I asked Petra.

She looked up at me from her papers and smirked. “You have the face of someone who just got laid, boss.”

“Fuck off.” I turned to leave but retreated at the last moment. “Does it really show?”

She chuckled, and I swear I could hear Hanji bursting out laughing from all the way here. “Well, you look younger.” I was very tempted to flip her off, but I remembered I’m at a hospital, so I just turned away and stormed off.

 

 

“So, my petit friend, how was your date? Where did you both wander to? You must have gotten lost, because I didn’t see you working yesterday…” Hanji pulled out whatever she found edible. Her choice for today was something that resembled noodles. I scrunched my nose and mourned my peaceful lunch time.

“Did you stop developing mentally at the same time your boobs stopped growing?”

She faked a shocked expression and fondled her assets. “Don’t worry ladies, he just says that because he prefers dick.” She glanced at me. “Eren’s dick, to be more precise.”

I groaned. No point in running away from this shit head. “If I tell you, will you leave me the fuck alone?”

“Yes!” She beamed at me, almost spilling my tea in the process. I told her to keep it down, under the threat of leaving her on the dark. That made her shut up.

“We went to the restaurant you said, and then we went back to my place. Happy now?”

She hummed. “Okay, I have one question left. Is he a screamer?”

“Hanji!” Some of the people eating besides us flinched.

She pointed at my face. “He totally is, judging by how hard you’re blushing. Really, I would never believe you were capable of having such an alive complexion.”

I rubbed my face. “For fuck’s sake,” I cringed at my choice of words. “-he’s not a screamer. But he is loud.” I added reluctantly.

_Loud and lewd._

She smirked, and actually shut up, for once. Hanji stared at me while munching on her noodle-like food. “Petra’s right, you know, you have this ‘laid’ look going on you.” I groaned. “Don’t give me that look, I’m only asking this because I care for you. Besides, I’m much more interested on the dinner and the fluff than your buttsex.” More stares and me trying to melt into the floor and disappear from Earth.

“Please don’t fucking say that out loud.”

“What? Buttsex?”

“Yes!”

She chuckled. “It is nothing to be ashamed of, my friend. I’m glad your sex life now exists and I could care less if you take it up in the ass or if you prefer to bend someone over.”

“I don’t prefer to bend someone over-” I started to mumble.

Hanji stared at me.

She nodded her head. “Didn’t think you’d let him top so easily. You’re a sap, Levi.”

“Shut the fuck up, it’s not like that.”

“Oh, but it is.” She pointed out. “Even Erwin just topped you a handful of times.”

I cringed at that and looked around for a moment before badmouthing our boss. “That was like years ago, Hanji. And he was shit at first, not to mention that he was in the fucking closet for most of the time. I would never let his dick near my ass until I knew it was worth it.”

She waved her hand, dismissing me. “Doesn’t matter anyway. We’re talking about Eren and the cute parts here, not whatever filth went down on your bedroom…”

“He went down, actually” I smirked.

“Wow, I didn’t think he would have the balls to do that.”

“You and me both. But what do you want to know?” As soon as I said that and saw the maniac look on Hanji’s face, I knew I was done for.

Goodbye my dear life, it was good while it lasted.

 

 

As expected, that wasn’t all I suffered through the day. By 3 o’clock, everyone in the damn fucking hospital seemed to know how my night had went. Mike even sneaked up on me, smelled my hair and muttered “Smells like teen spirit.” to himself. Fuck if I know what he meant.

I smelled my shirt and shook my head. He was just messing with me.

I was probably getting paranoid from all the whispers.

 

My phone buzzed on my thigh and I whisked it away, answering in less than three seconds.

“Hanji, if this is about Eren’s boxers again, I’m going to fucking stab you with a needle.”

The line was dead for a moment.

_“What about my boxers?”_

I checked the caller ID.

“Eren?”

_“Yes?”_

I rubbed my face and inhaled sharply. “Sorry. Hey.”

 _“Hey to you too, grumpy. So, what about my boxers?”_  I could hear the amusement on his voice.

“It’s… Nothing. Hanji’s been asking me all sorts of things about you, and I’m pretty done with her.” I admitted.

He hummed.  _“And she specifically asked for my boxers?”_

“Yes. She said that a man’s boxers tell a lot of things about him.”

I heard him chuckle on the other side of the line.  _“And what did you answer her.”_

“That I prefer you without them.” I said, smirking.

Eren was silently for a couple of seconds. “ _I could say the same about you.”_

I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

_“Uh-uhm. And I would like to see sprawled like that on my bed. I think your skin tone would do nicely with my furniture.”_

I felt my blood rushing to where it wasn’t supposed to be when you’re leaning on a wall next to a room filled with kids. “Fuck, Eren, you can’t talk to me like that when I’m on duty.”

_“You should come over when you’re done.”_

I laughed. “Are you that desperate?”

_“Not really. I had plenty sex for at least two months. I mean, I survived years without it, so…”_

“What the f-”

He cracked up laughing, and I heard someone commenting on the other side.  _“I’m joking, Levi. You should have heard yourself, you sounded so outraged!”_

I groaned. “Is today ‘pissing off Levi’ day?”

He finished chuckling. “ _Not that I know. But you’re really cute when you get pissed off.”_

“I’m not fucking cute.”

 _“Just like a cat.”_ He meowed.

“I’m going to end the call.”

_“Wait! Don’t do it yet, please.”_

I leaned into the nearest wall. “I should get back to work, you know?”

 _“Me too.”_  He sighed.  _“I still have a report to finish, and like three other papers that are due in the next two weeks…”_

“You do your homework? I thought you were one of those brats who just hope the exam will be enough to pass...” It wasn’t true, even though Eren seems like an airhead.

 _“I tried that one time. Failed two classes and Mikasa wouldn’t get off of my leg for weeks. It’s not something I want to relive again.”_ I heard him shift and mumble to himself.

“Then you should get going.”

_“Yeah…”_

The line went dead for a moment.

“Are you waiting for something to end the call or…”

 _“No! I just… didn’t want to end it?”_  He sounded so apologetic that I had to mentally slap myself. Fucking cute.

“Uh, okay. Goodbye, Eren.”

_“Goodbye, Levi.”_

If someone were to ask me,  _I did not smile._

 

 

I turned my ignition on and slowly pulled away from the parking lot. I grimaced at the shit a bird decided to leave on my car’s window. It had been a really fucking long day and I couldn’t wait to hit the shower and wash away the grime I could feel on my skin.

What didn’t help my need for a bath was the fact that I could see Eren everywhere. I saw him when I entered the kitchen and when I went into my room to grab some clothes. And now, not even the bathroom was a clean refuge for my sanity. Actually, yeah, this bathroom could use some cleaning. 

My mind too.

It was all worth it.

I touched the tiles of my shower’s wall like a girl on a romance movie. A day before Eren had been leaning on that wall, coming undone by my hands, while hot water was rushing down both of us. I couldn’t tell which of it was water or slick sweat rolling down our bodies, but I fucking loved it all.

I loved when he opened the door and asked me if there was space for one more, when he wrapped his arms around my wet body and kissed my nape. I loved it when his hands roamed my body, mapping every inch and I particularly loved when I turned around and devoured his mouth. Things escalated quickly after that.

Melodies were nothing compared to the sound of Eren panting on my ear. It was pleasure pain that I felt when my back stung from being scratched and held on to for dear life, as he tried to even out his breathing.

I could still feel the sweet taste of that aftermath slow kiss we shared, before he smacked my ass and scolded me for getting him dirty on the bath. I could do nothing other than joining him in his laughter.

I turned on the water.

 

I flipped through my TV channels. It was pretty damn boring for a Saturday night, not even a decent movie was playing. I guess that’s normal when you’re supposed to go out and be social on the weekends, but, for me, being social included Hanji and her boisterous drunk voice and that is a no.

Eren and I texted each other a few times, most of it nothing too serious. I was in the middle of dozing off when my phone went off.

 

_No, I don't feel like cooking today._

**i feel u. we're just going to pick up a pizza on our way home too**

_I can't begin to describe how the pizza based diet you have is fucking unhealthy._

**Blasphemy! pizza's healthy. it has vegetables**

 

I groaned. Your own fault for dating a teenager.

 

I flipped through the channels one more time before giving up. I got up, stretched, and decided that maybe I should eat something.

Turning on the kettle, I opened my fridge and searched for something that was easy enough to heat up. Until I heard a knock on the door.

“Who is this?” I asked.

_“I hope you like pepperoni…”_

I opened the door and smiled. “I hate the grease though.”

There was Eren, leaning against the door frame, holding a pizza box that was too big to be recommended and a smug smirk adorning his face.

“Hello, Levi-”

“Brat.”

“So, can I come in?”

I held the door open for him and gestured for the table. “I thought you and Armin were picking up a pizza?”

He fidgeted a little before choosing my coffee table. I raised an eyebrow.

“And I did. Armin dropped me off and I brought us pizza, because you sounded like you needed pizza in your life.” He sat down on my couch and made himself comfortable. I grimaced at the thought of grease sipping slowly into my couch, and went to the kitchen to fetch some plates.

“What are you doing?”

I set one on his lap and took the sit next to him. “I don’t want to get my shit dirty.”

He pulled the box. “Oh. Sorry, didn’t think about that.”

“Do you ever do?”

“Hey, I’m-”

I took one slice and bit it. “Please use a napkin too.”

“You got it, cap’n!” Eren saluted and I chewed my pizza sarcastically. We ate in silence for a few moments. When I say we ate, I actually mean that I ate my slice like a civilized person, and Eren practically inhaled his. Under normal circumstances, that would have been fucking discussing.

“So, how was your day?” He wasn’t that good with silence.

“Utter bullshit. The last time I received so much attention was when I turned 30, and I took the week off that time…”

He laughed and leaned on me. “It’s cute that your friends think that your loss of virginity must be celebrated.”

“My what? I’m not- I wasn’t a-” Eren cut me with laughter and poked my side.

“Oh god, Levi, I know you’re not a virgin! You should have seen your face though.”

I snorted and put down my slice, knowing that I wouldn’t be eating more now, when the pizza had turned cold. Besides, Eren ate the rest of what was supposed to be our dinner. “Please, Eren, I’ve made things that would put your virgin ass to shame.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

I knew that tone of voice.

“Let’s say I was born in the eighties.”

He made the mental math. “Yeah, okay, but you didn’t have sex when you were a child.”

I scoffed. “Well, of course not, but the ideals stayed.”

“Nah, you’re just messing with me.”

I raised an eyebrow.

Eren raised both of his. “Really?”

I kept looking at him, but eventually gave in. He couldn’t be that dumb.  

Apparently, he was, judging by the ten shades of red he was turning.

“Eren, come on, I’m a nurse and I work with children. Sure, I have kinks but they aren’t that bad, I mean, being tied up isn’t that hardcore.” Very amusing. Teasing Eren was becoming my favourite hobby.

He swallowed. I watched the lump on his throat moving and wondered how I suddenly had a new kink.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

I smirked. “I thought we were going slowly?”

He adjusted himself on the sit so he could be facing me. His pupils were blown up and I really loved his face. Right now, the only thing I wanted was to kiss that stupid face and cuddle. “Yeah, of course. I’m just saying I’m cool with that.”

God, I’m turning into a fucking sap.

“To be honest, I just want to kiss your stupid face and cuddle.” I had to remind myself that I’m already 32, and not the teenager here. “it has been a long time since I was in a relationship.”

Eren’s face brightened up a little, leaning closer. “My face is not stupid.”

“No, but that grin is-”

I couldn’t finish my sentence properly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> As you noticed, Erwin was introduced (which, at first, was supposed to have happened much more earlier) and Eren and Levi had a kind-of-a-talk about their relationship. 
> 
> In other news, I am one of the students who is hoping exams to go well enough for me to pass my classes. Also, im in the middle of my final's intense study, and my finals begin in 14 days. Right now, I know nothing.  
> Finals will be fun~  
> (ohgodimgonnafaileveryclassihavewhydidichoosemedicinetobeginwith)
> 
> Lastly, i won't be able to post a new chapter till i finish my exams, which will be godonlyknows ah-hem, 13th February. 
> 
> If you don't know my blog, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/) and I am also tracking the #claralikesfood tag. 
> 
> Leave comments so I feel pressured to write a new chapter. I'm not kidding. 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like, or comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	13. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard dating a nurse: sometimes his shifts don't allow him to go to your birthday. But somehow, Levi seems to always squeeze some time for Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED ON 26TH JULY 2015 
> 
> Hi guys ^^
> 
> Sorry that i haven't been here at all for a few months, med school is killing me and leaving me with no extra time to write or anything tbh  
> So here's a lil' chapter, just something to say I'm not dead and that i haven't forgotten this story :)
> 
> Enjoy!

The day started off bright, hot for a March day. I felt good today, and even my laundry basket showed – it was empty for once. I was just putting on my jeans when Mikasa opened my bedroom’s door, holding a cake and singing me “Happy Birthday”.

“Thank you, ‘Kasa. I love you too.” Smiling, I hugged her, careful not to squash the _oh-my-god-it-smells-so-good_ cake. I was sure it would win over cereals any day. Now that I thought about it, I should eat more than cereals on the morning. I was sure it had something to do with the fact I ended up famished after two hours of classes.

We moved to the kitchen, while I checked my phone for the already pilling up birthday text messages. Since midnight, my phone kept vibrating, to the point I had to turn it off if I wanted to actually catch some sleep. Medicine students were always up late.

“So, are you going to meet with Levi today?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to pass by the hospital after my classes, he has a 24 hours shift.”

“I don’t know how the old man does it, I barely can last 18 hours studying.”

I sighed. “Me neither. I guess he’s used to it, and he loves the children, so… Makes it easier?”

She had already prepared my breakfast, bless Mikasa’s soul, and put a kettle up while I cut the cake. “Must be. Is everyone confirmed for tonight?”

“Yeah, but most of them are only staying for dinner.”

“Exams?”

I nodded. “Start in two months.”

My phone vibrated again and I pulled it out.

**Armin: Happy Birthday! I could say a lot of sentimental things on this message, but I think you’d probably blush and wave it off, so I chose to say them on your dinner. In public c:**

**Also, can you pick me up? I’ll buy you coffee :D**

_Eren: arm I swear 2 god if u do that ill make u suffer. and ye, be there in 5_

I kissed Mikasa on the cheek. “Gotta run, Arm is asking for a drive. I’ll see you later.”

She smiled. “Say hi for me. And Happy Birthday, dork.”

 

* * *

 

 

"Judging by the devious smirk - or grimace, i can't tell the difference - you're pulling, you received more of those 'Commander Erwin' pics or you got a booty call from the hot med student, midget." Hanji pointed at my phone while waggling her eyebrows. 

"I'm not that sho-"

" -for a midget-"

" - and you're the one who went through Mike's phone and sent those to half of the hospital." I ignored her jab, and pocketed my phone.

"And it was absolutely genius. Man, Erwin couldn't look at Petra in the eye for two whole weeks, it was hilarious." She followed me through the ward. "So, you got a booty call from Eren."

"It's not a booty call when you're dating said booty. And stop calling it booty, what are you? Four?"

Hanji stopped in front of me. "You're officially dating the birthday boy? As in ‘Family, this is my boyfriend!’" She waved theatrically.

I sighed. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Guess I never expected to live enough to see the day 'murder-Levi' got a boyfriend."

I ran a hand through my face. "Jesus, I still don't understand why everyone kept me calling that."

"It's mostly the murder look you got on your face every time someone approached you during college." She replied. "Though you seem much happier nowadays-" She paused to sign something. "- and you smoke much less-"

I hummed absently, going through the paper she handed me.

"-so I guess the sex must be great." She wiggled her eyebrows to someone entering the room.

I chocked on my, looking around the room filled with kids. And three adults. 

"He's not half bad for an old man" Eren answered. 

 Besides me, Hanji almost choked laughing, while I stared mortified at him. I was definitely not half bad.

And then Hanji started singing Happy Birthday in a high pitched voice, and the kids joined halfway. Maybe I even mumbled a few words, but after a while I opted to snake an arm around Eren’s waist and pull him close to me.

“Thank you, Hanji. And everyone, you all sang really well!” The children all beamed and most of them were already back drawing him gifts.

“I’m going to take my break now, Hanji.”

“Yes, yes, shorty, go kiss his face all over.” There were disgusted noises all over the room, and I just glared at them. Eren was blushing furiously.

“As you wish.”

I leaded Eren outside, where I normally take my breaks, to find that I had been beaten by Erwin.

“Levi.” He acknowledge me.

“Erwin.”

He studied Eren for a while and I swear I could practically feel him shrink behind me. I couldn’t blame him, the guy was very intimidating at first, but really, he was a puppy disguised as a big deal. Well, he was kind of a big deal, no one gets to be the most respected neurosurgeon on the country without being a big deal.

“So, this is the boyfriend?” He hummed.

Eren nodded meekly. “I’m Eren, nice to meet you.”

Erwin extended his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Eren, I’ve heard _all_ sort of things about you.” Of course he had. “My name is Erwin, I’m sort of Levi’s father, if you consider Hanji his mother.”

Eren stared confused and I groaned. “What the hell do you mean?”

“Well, Hanji always says we’re your parents.”

“Please do not say that again in your life, you make it sound like I have a daddy kink.” The bastard smirked. “And I don’t have, don’t make that creepy face.”

“Only because you asked so nicely. And because I don’t wish to make Eren jealous.”

“N-No, I’m not jealous.” Eren was a bad liar, Erwin could easily see through him. I couldn’t agree it wasn’t interesting to watch those two interact, even though it mostly Erwin being himself, and Eren being flustered.

“Ahem, Erwin, shouldn’t you go back? Don’t have any brains to peek into?” I interrupted.

He smiled politely. “Yes, yes, I was just going before you came.

And with that, Erwin strolled away, leaving me and Eren alone.

He cleared his throat. “So, who’s that?”

“Erwin?” He nodded. “Old friend. We met in high school, and dated for a while, but that was a long time ago. He’s harmless to you.”

“I wasn’t worried. I’m younger and much more handsome.” Eren cocked his hips to a side.

“Well, you would, if you saw the body he has underneath those clothes. Mike must be a happy man.”

“Mike?”

I pulled him closer. “His husband. Also a hunk of a man. As I said, you don’t need to worry.”  He grinned, relieved, and I pecked him on the lips.

“I told you I wasn’t.”

I brushed our noses together. “I know.”

“Oi, chief, are you sure he’s legal?” Eren jumped at Auruo’s voice, followed by Petra’s shushing.

“More legal than yesterday.” I shouted back. “And there goes our time alone.” They were already walking towards us.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “And I should get going.”

“Already?”

“I have to help prepare everything for tonight.” Ah, yes. The birthday party I was going to miss.

“I’m sorry I can’t go.”

Eren waved me off. “It’s alright, you can’t be in two places at the same time. And I’ll have you for myself tomorrow.” He kissed me.

“Of course. But you should go now, if you don’t want to be harassed by them.” I pointed at the two nurses approaching.

He gulped. “No, thank you.” Eren closed the space between us, kissing me goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Levi.”

“Yeah. Happy Birthday, kid.”


	14. Stu-dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finals aren't that bad, it's the whole "studying till dying" that sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE PSAs, THIS STORY WAS REVISED AND SOME KEY ASPECTS TO THIS CHAPTER HAVE CHANGED. However, they are about Eren's friends and their relationships, not particularly essential for the main couple.~~~~ 
> 
> Hello ^^
> 
> As promised, I have come to give you the promised 14th chapter of this story, the last one before the big ending!  
> This chapter was difficult to write for a lot of reasons, but the most challenging of them all was the gigantic writing block I was going through... But i worked it out in the end, and here are the results. 
> 
> Stay tuned for the 15th and last chapter!
> 
> Enjoy your reading!

**May**

 

Armin munched on a breadstick, going through his notes again. Jean sat beside me, revising some presentations, while I tried to copy Arm’s annotations on Pharmacology. How he had already revised it all already was a mystery to me, but I guess that’s what people expect from someone that actually studies with time and not just the week before the finals.

I went back to the neat writing in front of me, lists of drugs going through my brain as fast as I could absorb the knowledge. I didn’t have a good memory, so I had to go through it all over and over again, until it was finally engraved on my brain, and discharge it on my exams.

Jean was grumbling something over his breath, probably complaining about his small dick, and it was getting on my nerves. This line of thought continued until I realised he was actually chuckling at his phone.

“Who are you texting, horse face?”

He locked his phone. “No one, shit brains.”

“I find it hard to believe you were smiling over no one…”

Jean blushed. “I wasn’t smiling.”

Armin decided to join own little talk. “Jean, you can’t fool Eren when you’re blushing all the way down your neck.”

I nodded. “Yeah dude. And everyone knows you’ve found a new rider for your horse?”

“Fuck off, Jeager, he hasn’t rode anything.” He gathered the notes scattered around him.

“Oh,” I waved my eyebrows dramatically. “-so he’s the pony in the relationship?” Armin burst out laughing and Jean just looked at me, shocked. I could even see the clogs in his brain turning slowly in search for a good reply.

“He’s actually more of a mustang, if you wanna know.”

“You’d like him, Eren.” Armin said. “he’s got the muscles and the tan.”

“Nah, Arm, he’s into old men. Must be because of his daddy issues.”

I coughed, feigning offence. “I do not have daddy issues!”

Jean threw his arms up. “Daddy issues, daddy kinks, it’s all the same.”

“Don’t kink shame me, pony lover!”

Armin finished his last breadstick. “You two are gross, you know that? Can we go back to Pharma already?”

“Aye, aye, cap’n!”

 

 

“Eren, why are you holding a spoon and staring at the wall?” Mikasa asked.

I looked down, confused, to find I was indeed holding a spoon and standing in the middle of the kitchen. “I, uh, I was going to do some toast?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You look like you need to sleep more than a toast…”

“Uh,” I looked around. “-probably.”

She shook her head. “Did you stay up late again?”

“Yeah, Levi is picking me up for dinner, so I had to compensate.” It had been a pretty difficult night to me. I was starting to have to _really_ concentrate to be able to memorise anything, and even then, I had to repeat it at least 5 times before had it down for sure.

“Did you take a nap, at least?” She motioned for me to sit, obviously concerned about the fire hazard I would become if I did try to make toast, and started to prepare it herself.

I scratched my mess of a hair. “I think I slept three hours?” And even then, I had the vague memory of dreaming with surgeries.                                                                                                                   

“Jesus, Eren, you’re going to fall asleep on your cup.”

“Uhm.”

A plate was placed in front of me and I practically inhaled the food. “What time is it?”

Mikasa peered over me. “Almost four.”

That meant I had roughly two hours to finish eating, shower and try to look presentable. I could go over my notes if I was fast enough and, nowadays, I was fast enough. I could save a lot of time to study if I was reduced to only the essential tasks. Sleeping, apparently, wasn’t one. I sighed. One more month and I would be free.

I turned on the shower and fumbled around the bathroom in search of a clean towel. My brain was still waking up from its zombie-like state and thinking about mundane chores was a lot easier when I was fed. The water wasn’t too hot when I got in, just the perfect temperature to clear my head and relax my contracted shoulders. I rinsed my hair carefully and stepped out of the shower.

It was getting hot outside, summer just around the corner, so I decided to stick with shorts and a t-shirt. I was pretty sure we were going to stay inside tonight. Besides, Levi loves my legs, even if doesn’t admit it out loud.

I checked my phone. I had about an hour to done last minute revising, so I grabbed my notes and sat down on my bed.

 

I was awoke suddenly, or so I thought, with Levi shaking my limp body. Apparently, I had fallen asleep before I could even open the dossier. Well, I wasn’t going to mourn the time I spent in oblivion, God knows I needed it. Better now than later, when I would certainly prefer to stay awake.

“Eren-” Levi whispered.

“Uh.” Being woken up by him was, by far, my favourite way to start the day, or evening.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He moved my bangs away from my face, and I opened up my eye.

“Hey… What time is it?”

“A little after six.” That meant I hadn’t lost that much time sleeping. I rubbed my eyes.

“And where’s my morning kiss?”

Levi chuckled. “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

“It’s never late for kisses…” I pouted. He leant in and pecked me. Every kiss was always a first with Levi, and I was starting to suspect I would never get tired of it. I blushed, conscious of how lame I was when it came to Levi, so I kissed him again for good measure. “Alright, grumpy, let me grab my things.”

“Hurry up.” He followed me while I searched the room for my notes and a clean change of clothes. “Is that all?” Levi pointed at my stack.

“Yeah, I think this is all.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you expect to study all of that?”

“Depends on how busy I am…” I smirked.

“Not much, if you don’t move your ass.”

“Aw, Levi, don’t ruin my fun!” He took half of my pile and nudged me forward. “See you tomorrow, ‘Kasa!” I shouted over my shoulder.

“Have fun!” She answered from her room. 

Levi opened the front door and held it open for me. He carefully lowered my notes on his car and proceeded to start it. I dumped the rest of my belongings and sat next to him.

The ride to his apartment wasn’t new to me, so I amused myself with teasing him. I was just about to poke Levi in the ribs when I felt his cold stare.

“Don’t you dare, or you’ll be walking the rest of the ride.” Levi absolutely hated the fact that he was ticklish, although that only happened when he wasn’t ready.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop.”

He parked in the garage and gave me the keys. “Go on, I’ll bring your things.”

I leaned over the console and kissed him slowly. “Thanks.”

I had to try a few times before finding the right key, and the door finally gave in. Levi followed me inside the house and left my stuff on the living room’s table.

“So what’s the plan for today?” I asked, combing my mess of a hair with my fingers.

“First, I’m going to have a shower, and then you can help me make dinner.” Levi discarded his gown and threw it on the washing machine, staying only in his boxers. I walked to where he was standing, hugging him from behind, mapping his body with my hands again.

“Can I help you shower?” I whispered in his ear, dragging my teeth on his neck.

“Uhm, tempting, but no, I actually want to get clean.” Levi grabbed my hands and kissed my knuckles. “I won’t take long. There’s food in the fridge if you get hungry.” And with that, I was left alone.

 

I occupied myself with flipping through the TV channels, even though nothing good was on. Levi came out of the shower soon enough, as he promised, his hair dripping wet and only wearing a towel. It was truly a test of strength to remain seated on the couch and watch him enter his room, instead of jumping him right there

“Anything special you want to eat?” he came out wearing only sweatpants. I gulped, staring him down. How many weeks had it been since I had adored his holy body as it should be adored?

“I’d be happy with just eating you up…”

He smirked. “How about we leave that for desert?”

“Fair enough.”

I didn’t really know how to cook, so Levi had to do most of our dinner, thought he took the time to explain me how to proceed and often let me do the small tasks, like cutting the vegetables and washing things. I helped him season the food, because he said he wasn’t that good at it. Personally, I think he was having too much fun at poking me with the spoon. The thing about Levi was that once he gets to know you and trust you, he becomes more and more open, and I couldn’t stop liking what I was seeing.

We ate on the table like civilized people – Levi had insisted that we were absolutely not going to eat on the couch again. After that, we moved to said couch to watch a movie and make out. Well, it was more making out than movie, to be honest, and maybe some heavy humping. We hadn’t seen each other for weeks, and I was getting a little bit needy. He was my favourite ice cream flavour.

I cringed at the thought, thinking that I shouldn’t compare Levi’s dick to an ice cream if I didn’t want to ruin ice creams for me. Too late, I guess.

“I think we should move to my room.” Levi was sitting on top of me, his clothes threw pretty much everywhere, heavily panting. I probably looked the same, lips flushed and sweat rolling off me, and trying not to make the tent I was pitching more obvious than it was.

It was pretty obvious.

“I agree.” I grabbed his ass and squeezed, taking the opportunity to lift him up. Levi hugged my waist with his legs and kept attacking my neck all the way to the room, which caused me to almost trip on my legs. I recovered in time to hear the bastard laugh at my lack of equilibrium, but I was so far gone that I didn’t care anymore.

I dropped him very unceremoniously on the bed, and took my shorts off. I made sure to roll them slowly, a little eye candy for the audience, and crawled to where he was practically drooling on the bed. God, I loved being hot enough for my mediocre attempt of strip teasing to work. Levi undoubtedly could throw a better show than I could, with his Adonis-like body. A body that was currently rolling its crotch against mine and it was driving me crazy.

I grabbed his clothed erection and heard him gasp audibly. I smirked, pleased by the reaction, and continued rubbing the sensitive spot. When I thought he had suffered long enough, I followed his pulse with my mouth, kissing and nipping at every tender spot I could find.

“Hurry the fuck up, Eren.” Levi panted. Someone was a little impatient tonight.

I shoved his boxers down and licked the inside of his thigh, just to see Levi squirm beneath me. I was also getting pretty uncomfortable and impatient to free my dick. I took him on my mouth and sucked the tip of his cock, anxious to hear the little pleasure noises that spilled out of his mouth every time we were together. I was rewarded greatly.

Levi motioned me to move and stretched into his one night stand, feeling around his drawer. I was practically trembling with excitement.

“Fuck.”

I looked up from his dick. “What?”

He stared at me, desperation in his eyes. “I forgot to buy condoms.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I moved into a seating position and he showed me the now empty box of condoms. “Fuck.”

“Don’t you have one in your wallet?”

“I had but we used it when we went to that bar!” That had been a good night. Levi was practically fucking my leg on the dance floor, I only held it together until the first deserted bathroom we found. Who would knew this old man still had the moves?

“Jesus Christ.”

“It’s not nice to talk about other man while I’m trying to give you a blowjob, Levi.”

He shot me a glare that could kill a man. “Shut the fuck up.”

I laughed and nuzzled his neck. “Hey, it’s fine, we can just make out.” I knew Levi was uncomfortable with not using condoms when we were together. He never told me anything because he didn’t want me to think that it was because he was grossed out by me, but by now I knew him well enough to know he had his reasons, and that he would tell me when he was able to tell me.

“But we were supposed-“

“We were supposed to spend time together, and that’s what we’re doing. I don’t mind not having sex with you, babe, I just want to be with you.” I had missed him so much these weeks, I was practically going through withdraw.

“Thank you.” Levi looked so relieved that I almost didn’t have the decency to keep it together. I was seriously in danger of crying for this man who was relieved I wouldn’t force him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. Sometimes I wondered what he had been through before I met him, and I just wished I had met him earlier.

Looking down at his pleading eyes, I realised I loved that man.

I loved Levi.

I had never loved anyone ever, and I didn’t really know what loving someone felt like to other people, but for me, this was love. And so, I kissed him again, and again, and kept kissing him until I washed his mind of any coherent thinking and made sure he wasn’t scared of driving me away anymore.

 

 

I woke up the next morning with my alarm going off. Levi and I had been awake until quite late, and I was seriously lacking some sleep hours, but I had to study. He slept soundly next to me, only stirring when I disentangled myself from his tight grip. Lucky guy. I groaned and rubbed my face to try to wake myself completely, before kissing his forehead and making a line for the bathroom.

It was quite difficult to pee when your dick is being a dick about being 8 in the morning.   

I washed my face and, brushed my teeth and almost regretted brushing them when I took a sip of my scalding coffee. Levi had these amazing cookies stored somewhere, so I spent the next half hour looking for them. When the food was found, I set up my working space carefully. Notes in front of me, books to my left and power point presentations on my right. Writing material scattered everywhere. _This is my design_ , I thought.

I was going through my notes a second time when Levi appeared on his room’s door.

“Morning.” I said. He nodded and passed through me, straight to the coffee machine, humming when he was regarded with a nice cup of it, and disappeared again into his room. I returned to the work in front of me, knowing that he would acknowledge me when he was awake enough to do so. Levi wasn’t a morning person.

It wasn’t until fifteen minutes later that Levi emerged from his hide out, properly dressed and looking much more alive.

“Hey.”

I smiled and waited for him to peck my cheek. He did so and sat on the chair next to mine, savouring the remains of his coffee. “I ate your cookies.”

“Damn it, Eren, you could have left one for me.”

“I needed them to study.”

He grimaced at my mess of a make-up desk. “Have you been here for long?”

I shrugged. “Probably an hour. You were sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

Levi smiled and kissed me. “Do you want help studying? I’m not the greatest at it, but I can help.”

“Uh, you could go over the cards with me.”

“The cards?” He raised an eyebrow. I nodded and started looking for my stack of cards, which I knew where somewhere on my dossier. Armin had helped me with them, and it was normally him who quizzed me on them. I finally found them and gave them to Levi, explaining how they were organised and what he should ask me. He quizzed me for another hour, and helped me sort my notes after that.

“I’m going to take a shower now, I have to be in the hospital in an hour. Can you heat up the leftovers?” Levi asked me.

“Sure, do you want anything else?”

“A salad would be a good idea, but I’m not sure you can manage it…” He smirked.

I punched his arm. “Shut up, I can at least make that!”

“Alright, chef, the kitchen is yours.” Levi pecked me and left me alone. I got up and fished the leftovers from our dinner, setting the microwave to the right program. While they were heating up, I checked my phone for any loose messages, to find that Jean had schedule an urgent study session for that day’s afternoon with me, Arm, Connie, Sasha and Krista. He must have been desperate. I quickly tipped that I was available and pocketed the device.

All I had left to do was the salad.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> Firstly, i would like you to notice we have broken out the L-word.  
> Lesbian?  
> The other L-word.  
> ...Lesbians?
> 
> But seriously, it was time Eren realised he loves Levi, his friends knew it, Levi's friends knew it, we all knew it, except himself.   
> This chapter is a little different from the other, as I've decided to make this fic a series of spinets from the character's lives. A little bit of their life from each month they've know each other. As this happened in May, Eren had to be seriously studying by now (i know i was), and wouldn't be able to see Levi that much. Oh, and the whole med student thing became a lot more realistic, at least for Portuguese med students (as your dear writer suffers from that condition...).  
> Story time: during my finals, i have also stood in the middle of my kitchen totally lost. You're not the only one, Eren. 
> 
> FINALLY, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE GRAND ENDING. And will be updated until September!
> 
> If you don't know my blog, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/) and I am also tracking the #claralikesfood tag. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comment so I feel pressured to write the last chapter. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!


	15. Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello for the last time ^^
> 
> I won't be long on the beginning notes, I'm sure you're all excited for the end, so go on. Feast!
> 
> As always, enjoy your reading!

**July**

 

The clock was going too fast. I felt like someone had put me on those horror movies Jean always told us to watch but could never make it through, even though he swore he wasn’t listening to music instead of watching it. Every person in this room seemed to be sweating buckets, making the atmosphere oppressive. It was all or nothing for us. Except Armin. The bastard even seemed to be smiling as he went his way through the exam.

I was fucked. I knew it as soon as I started reading the questions. Still, it was the last exam of the semester, and if I managed to pass this one, I was free for a summer filled with not-doing-anything and a lot doing-Levi, hopefully. If I didn’t pass, well, at least I could drown my sorrows on today’s party – the “end of finals” party, also known as “make your brain forget what you just learned” party. What an amazing time to be alive.

I glanced at the clock again. Shit, I had lost five minutes dwelling on my future plans instead of revising my answers. Sure, I was just making sure I had answered everything, but I should be focusing and waiting for the ring that told us we were finally free.

The next half hour was the longest I ever had. Why did I always finish my exams so early?

 

I cracked my spine as soon as I got outside to release the tension I could feel growing on my shoulders. Armin flinched next to me. Jean was nowhere to be seen, probably still waiting to turn in his exam. I took the opportunity to check my phone.

 

**Levi: Good luck**

_You: ty ^^ ill text u when im out_

_You: hey im out. we’re waiting for jean and then we’re heading for the party. c u tomorrow?_

Jean was already walking next to us when I finished typing, engrossed in conversation with Armin, most likely discussing the hell we had just came out of.

“Actually, I thought it was easy.”

Jean scoffed. “Of course you thought that, genius.”

“I thought it was easy for the hardest subject we have.” I added. “Which makes it hard as fuck for normal people, Arm.”

“For once in my life I agree with Jaeger.”

“Guys, come on, we studied so much! I’m sure this is just you not being confident in yourselves…” Armin might have had a point there, not that I was going to admit it. We had spent the last week revising and memorising and going through it all again and again. At some point I even started dreaming about it. I was so tired by now that I couldn’t assess if I had done good or not. I felt my phone vibrate and fished it out of my pocket.

 

**Levi: Yes. I’ll pick you up when I’m done with my shift.**

_You: should I bring my toothbrush??? ;)_

**Levi: Is that even a real question?**

 

I smirked. Levi and I hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks, with me binge studying and him accumulating shifts. Jean held the door for us and we walked to the parking lot. Our group was responsible for the drinks - I had volunteered – and Sasha’s group was bringing the food. I was hoping brownies were included in the meal, even though last time we had a few people too stoned to stop giggling after eating their “secret recipe”.  I was starting to believe that was just what I needed.

Armin dropped Jean in his house – apparently he had something very important to pick up (I just hoped it was legal) - and drove us to mine, where Mikasa and the drinks were waiting for our arrival. I took the time to change into clothing that I wouldn’t mind having ruined with alcohol, because I knew that that was its fate.

We arrived early to help prepare everything, which consisted on making the place drunkards-safe and didn’t matter at all in the end, since the place got wrecked every time. With great celebrations come great costs. Most of the people were already there, coming to Sash’s house right after the exam, and I was pretty sure Bert was slurring his words, having the need to lean on Annie already.

Armin opened the door open for Jean and a freckled guy I was almost sure I had seen on the coffee shop in front of college. How jean had befriended him I didn’t know, maybe he had made friendship with whoever worked at the place during his long study afternoons. The bastard might look like he couldn’t care less about his grades, but he was actually on the top ten grades of our year.

“Well, looks like old boy Jeanbo had made a friend” Connie commented.

I snorted into my beer. “How much do you think he had to beg for him to come to the party?”

Connie and I dissolved into laughter while Jean lead the new guy through the room, helping him with getting acquainted. He smiled politely and blushed while horse face talked, orbiting close to him. I wouldn’t mind being that guy’s friend too, he was kind of hot. Tall, sun kissed skin adorned with those amazing freckles, and you could just guess the contour of his muscles underneath the shirt he was wearing. I gulped.

I passed Jean a beer when he finally met us. “Alright, Connie, Eren, this is my boyfriend, Marco.”

Marco extended a hand and gifted us with a vibrant smile, but I was too shocked to move.

 

 

I opened my eyes and the only thing I could think about was how I wanted to go back to being unconscious. I tried to get up from the place where Reiner was pinning me, but I immediately regretted it.

“Shit.” How much had I drink, and what, to have my head pounding like this?

“Morning.” Annie was sitting on the living room’s table, next to where I was sprawled, drinking a nice cup of steaming coffee. I realised myself from my human restraints and joined her on her morning dose of caffeine.  Bless Annie and her strong, dark coffee.

One by one, everyone started waking up, and gathered themselves to help cleaning the place. Thank god Sasha’s parents were out, or they would have had to be driven to the hospital after seeing the state of their house.

We left the place when Armin was conscious enough to recite the opiates table without struggle. I don’t know how Mikasa even let him drive, but I figured it had something to do with the me crashing the car when I was sober and in full health, “ _let alone when he was both hangover and still drunk_ ”. Couldn’t censor her, really.

I fell asleep pretty much as soon as I hit my bed, striped down to my boxers, and that’s how Levi found me - still hangover, drool on my face and wearing Batman boxers. It was becoming a habit to have him wake me up.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

I rubbed my face and grimaced at the wetness. “Good afternoon to you too.”

“Well, you look like shit. ” Trust Levi to be absolutely blunt to his nearly naked boyfriend.

“Thanks. Sorry, uh, I need to shower. And brush my teeth.”  

“And wash the dick you have on your face.”

“Wow, Levi, at least take me on a date befo- Wait what?” My brain slowly caught up with what he just had said. “I HAVE A DICK ON MY FACE?!”

Levi chuckled. “And very big one, too. It’s captioned as self-portrait. Personally, I think yours isn’t anything like that one but-”

I groaned. “Oh my god, shut up. Seriously, why didn’t anyone told me anything? Fuck, I was out in public with this thing on my face, I can never leave my house again!” He started laughing at my dramatic reaction. Suddenly, the realization hit me. There were three people that could have done this. One of them being Jean, who had been very busy with sucking Marco’s face. Which left us with – “Springles. They. Are. So. dead.”

“Alright, you-” He tried to catch some breath. “- can plot your revenge later, when you have showered. I’ll start packing for you.”

I inhaled deeply, to sooth my rage. “Do you know where my things are?”

“Pretty much scattered everywhere, by the looks of it…” I punched him in the arm and got up to look for a bag. I only found my big one, but there’s never too much room for things. I left it in Levi’s hands and pecked his cheek quickly. “Go, Eren!”

I left the room laughing.

 

Levi had already packed what seemed to be a lot of clothes for two, maybe three days in his house. “Aren’t those two many clothes?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t know if I had enough.”

“Seriously, Levi, it’s just the weekend, I don’t need this many clothes.”

“The car is the one carrying your things, so I don’t really care. Can we go now?”

I grabbed him by his waist and kissed him. “Yes, sir.”

He urged me to move and took my things to the car. I passed by Mikasa’s room to find her still sleeping, despite all the noise we made, and left her a note saying that I was with Levi already. I also added for her to not have too much fun while I was out, because I was too young to be a uncle. I was sure I was going to pay for making that comment, but it was worth it.

Levi was already starting the car when I came outside. I sat down and waited for him to move the car. Which wasn’t happening and now he was speaking.

“So, do you have any appointments for the next week?”

I searched my brain for any upcoming compromises. “No? I was just going to catch up on sleep, really.”

“Well, I thought,” Levi glanced sideways to me, giving me a hopeful look. “that maybe we could go to the sea, maybe spent these days on a nice place?”

I was silent for a few seconds, before practically shouting in his face. “Are you serious right now?!” I didn’t believe in what my ears were hearing, I was still hallucinating from too much study.

 “Yes, I’m serious. I’ve been working double shifts for weeks to get some days off, and I figured out you’re pretty much all I want to see…” He added, smiling nervously.

I didn’t let him speak much after that, since I basically attacked him, kissing every spot available, from his mouth to his hair and back to his neck. My body was turned a little bit awkwardly due to the car’s console, but I didn’t care at all.

Levi dissolved in laughter and tried to push me away. “Okay, you’re happy I get it! Now get off of-”

“I’ve never been to the beach! I’ve always wanted to, but our parents couldn’t afford it and- Oh my god, I can’t pay for it!”

He took my hand and squeezed it. “It’s okay, Eren, I’m paying for it.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t possibly-”

“Please. I want to pay for it.” Levi stared at me. “I’ve never had someone to spend money in, and now that I have I want to spoil you rotten.” I was one hundred percent sure I was blushing like an idiot. At least he was already used to it. “Think of it as a Christmas gift, if you are so against it.”

“It’s July?”

“Advanced Christmas gift.” He smirked and pointed to the back of the car. “And plus, I already packed your things.”

“So that’s why you packed so much!” Levi was probably this planning this for a long time. I looked to where he was focusing on the road.

“I love you.”

The words stumbled out of my mouth with ease, like they always belonged in the air between us. I watched them hanging and being absorbed by the person that inspired me to say them. They were the truth, and they had belonged to Levi for a long time now. In a sense, I had always loved him. We were two ends of a rope hoping to meet, two strangers stumbling on Fate’s weird way to make things right.

“Me too.” Levi was blushing all the way down to his neck. It was so cute I wanted to stop time and adore him forever.

“I love you.” I repeated, much more lighter, now that I had finally said it. “I love you, _I love you, I love you_ , **I LOVE** -”

“Shh, shut up, people are looking!”

“I don’t care, I want to see you blush more…”

“I take it back, I hate you.” Levi groaned under his breath. I threw my head back laughing.

That was the start of our big journey, and I never wanted to reach the end.

 

The End

(of the Beginning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again.
> 
> I can't believe this story is almost two years old, and that you guys stuck with me through it all! You are so amazing, and I want to thank you so much for taking the time to read this.   
> Now,-  
> This is the last chapter, the one I was stuck on, the end of this project, an ode to new beginnings and also a goodbye. But not forever! I've come to love these characters and I'll probably have the need to meet them in the future. If i do, i hope I'll have you guys right beside me, like you've been until now.   
> I'm sorry if you dislike this ending, or if you are disappointed in any way, but to me, this is the ending that belongs to my Eren and Levi, the one that feels right. Of course I could have made Eren die in a car crash caused by driving drunk, but i chose not to (believe me, i was very tempted).
> 
> If you don't know my blog, you can check it out on [what-is-it-jeager](http://what-is-it-jeager.tumblr.com/) and I am also tracking the #claralikesfood tag.   
> Please leave kudos and comment. Feedback is highly appreciated, as always!  
> Thank you all for reading this story!  
> Goodbye ^^


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